Me, MYSeLF & i…

Dear journal….
                It has been awhile since I’ve typed anything… I’m
still alive.. and I’m still well… as my last entry showed that I am
still utterly happy that my man had stopped by to teman me in uni for the whole 4 hours that I am free… and he waited til my class ended…

   
            I’m sure I’ve written something on my young cousin, Amir
Haziq being here… Yes, i definitely have… and how much I had missed
my sister… yes, days go by really quickly.. now it’s already the end of July… tomorrow is 1st August, 2005… Officially the month of Merdeka for Malaysia… She’s 48 this year! So young…

                    On that Wednesday that I had spent time with my man, I had also bought a book… Dan Brown’s "The Da Vinci Code"…
I thought I have always had this, but apparently, i think I had
misplaced it somehow… Malas nak mencari.. so i had resorted to
purchase a new one… I am now @Chapter 39… I’m reading this really
slowly.. but God knows how much I want to finish the book! Still, I’ve
got other obligations to be done…
                Had a couple of uni work to do… and I had to copy
some cases from the library… My Evidence lecturer had given us two
task for the whole semester… 1. Present a case in tutorials.. No
order as to which case or when you are to present.. you just have to
present ONE! 2. Do a case review on an evidence case between the years
200-2005… I’ve decided on the cases that I wanted to do.. And I
definitely want this thing to be done by next week… So, I’m gonna
present the case by Monday’s tutorial and submit the case review by the
end of the week; i.e. Friday. (although the dateline for this is by the
end of the semester…)
                My PP lecturer had also decided to give us work due
this Tuesday.. I finished one of the letter he asked us to do by Friday
nite… and the other on Sunday.. so, i’m pretty much covered to return
the assignment by Monday instead of Tuesday… He also had given us
some AG assignments to read upon… for this Monday.. done that too..
                My CP lecturer? He gave us a case to read for coming
Tuesday’s tutorials… and I have some PiL work on Tuesday too…
nonetheless, those are not that difficult to do, i think… it’s a
matter of reading the sources.. I’ll do it on Monday! Of course I’ll
ask Shahril to pick me at 4pm instead of 3pm or maybe 5pm so that I can
go to the library…

                What I have typed is NOT something I have made up…
This is just a tip of the ice-burg.. On top of this all, I am still
able to have a life… I did go out with Nadirah, Kabir, Raina, Nasreen and Dilla to Marche for lunch on Friday… @night I had dinner with my man and his friends… Had brought them all to Johnny’s steamboat… it was fantabulous…! Then we went for rounds of foosball….

                I had a whole National Symposium which was held @ Hotel Nikko by the Law Society… on Saturday.. (from 9am til 4:30pm) It was one longgggg talk… Thankx to Fary
for actually taking me there and up to KLCC later… the shoppin
complex was so full! and I still had meet up with Shahril that night…

So what’s my life consists of? balance… that’s what it is…

Njoy your days people…..

~transmission ends 08:15pm 31072005~

Dear journal….
                    A quick thank you to my man… He had teman
me from 1:30pm - 5pm… and then waited in econs canteen til i finish
classes at 6pm… Do you know how many people consider me lucky to have
you waiting for me…? Even the kakak that works in the canteen, the owner of it, likes you… She thinks you’re a keeper..

All in God’s ketentuan…

~transmission ends 09:05am 28072005~

Dear journal…
                         Taking a break from my juggle of reading the work I’m suppose to end by August… and also watching Desperate Housewives to let out my heart tonight…
                    I woke up with such a lazy feeling.. I really wanted
to meet up with my man today.. I didn’t feel like going to uni.. I
guess the fact that I’m so nearing to that time of the month is making
me extra clingy… That’s why when I was hanging out with him
yesterday, I was rather clingy… I had clinged on him on our way to
have our aimless walks in OU… He had teman me dinner @Johnnys.. and then, we had foosball and pool.. I won.. or rather, the team I was representing had won.. For Manchester United of course! Pool? Well, he was a good teacher… I love it when he was teaching me.. Normally I’d be really malu
to to be taught by my boyfriend… But he is different… My sayang is
very patient.. He doesn’t ridicule me for the way I was trying to hold
the que… He was really patient and understanding… Some other guys
would probably gave up.. Heck… any gal would give up too…
                   Well, today I found out I got one of the daily
questions correct in the kickstart thingy… but I guess my slogan
sucked big time…. Oh well…. Nevermind…

                   As I was surfing the net, my lecturer had called me
up to inform me that the class is cancel.. Ahh.. most of you would say,
"Waaa.. Lecturer calls her.." But before you think that, bare in mind,
with this info, I have to go class and let the others there know that
there’s no class… The class is @10am… and I was the bearer of this
good news.. In other words, I have to go to uni eventhough there’s no
class @10am… I was on my merry way thinking, okies, I can spend time
in the cafe for an hour before my next class….
                   As we were approaching uni, nearing Batu Caves, I
realized, I don’t think I’m gonna b having a class @11am either… I
was so sure there was a class… but, as my memory serves me right,
last Thursday, my lecturer had cancelled in advance! That simply means,
no class and tutorial for the day… So.. that would mean I had only
one class to go to.. and it’s not even a class.. It’s a tutorial! Oh
MY… A tutorial? it was 2pm… that was all that I had to do in uni
today!!!
                   Okay, some people would actually skip it altogether
and stayed home.. But, I guess, I’m not some people.. I can’t afford to
do that.. I feel that for everyday I sengaja
skip, I’d be punish later for it.. As going to uni is an amanah from my
parents to me to study.. As that is the only duty and obligation I have
for now.. It does not seem fair to skip it…
                    Bearing this in mind *whilst cursing @the fact
there’s no class*… I went to the library.. Good old library.. It was
simply pretty… Yes… I’m weird.. But I love the atmosphere of being
surrounded by books… It gives me this relaxed feeling.. Plus, it’s SO
air-conditioned that I don’t feel like going anywhere else… I got
myself the cases that I needed to copy.. Gotten the case assignment for
Evidence class.. and I had a head up over my fellow friends of today’s
tutorial @2pm when I met Nor… She had hers yesterday and I had gotten
tips of what was gonna be asked and also the case that the lecturer had
asked us to read on for next week’s Tuesday tutorial… Wow… Talk
about fast track.. I guess, there was a blessing to the fact that I had
to come to uni and had nothing to do until 2pm..
                      Now, I’m just waiting for my man to come back..
I’m reading up on some of my class notes to brush up for tomorrow.. but
I’m also very eager to finish reading this thing that was assigned to
me personally..
It’s a rather interesting article which I wish I could share.. But,
sadly I can’t.. after all, this will be going for publication in
September..

Other news? Going to Hotel Nikko this Saturday… woo hoo… *scandalous*

~transmission ends 11:55pm 26072005~

Dear journal…..
                      It’s already a Sunday… Soon I’m entering my
third week of uni…. You see journal, I love to do countdowns.. not
because I’m counting down days to freedom or holidays like most people
do… I countdown days to my end of semester exam.. I know, it’s
weird.. But, by counting down the weeks that’s left, I’m reminded not
to slack.. reminded that I have to consistantly study bit by bit… Law
is a reading degree as well as memorization and understanding… So….
I have to make sure that I study smart… Don’t wanna be burning the
midnight oil in the end of the day… Get me? Berangan, berangan juga… bercinta, bercinta juga… tapi, pelajaran tak boleh di abaikan…
                      As I have stated yesterday, I was out with mommy
to OU… It was so much fun… I had steamboat @Johnny’s… It was nice
to learn how to properly serve steamboat… After all my mom is way
older and more experience in life than I…. Getting the priviledge of
learning how to serve steamboat at my own comfort is good for me…
*smiles* Knowing that mommy had enjoyed the steamboat and approves of
the place, that’s an added bonus for me… Why? with the approval of
mom, it’s easier to go there again with her.. She plans to go again
with my sister and i the next time….
                      Before I had gone to OU to collect the Stealth
tickets that I have won, my baby boy’s aunt had rung my cellphone…
She had called up to ask for a favour to borrow my laptop to watch dvd
that her daughter Intan had brought. It was Intan’s wedding @Jakarta…
She was so pretty.. The whole event looks so grand! I had the
priviledge of meeting up with Intan too… Although there was a small
little comment on my size being bigger… but it was cute how Aunt Su
said.. "sebab dia happy.." and
I blushed… I am pretty much happy being with Shahril…. I had a few
laughs with his family @their house… Comfortable, I was, being
there… *yoda talk*
                      I bid my goodbyes… and head back home to get
ready to go out to OU… Sometimes I wonder if all of this being
real…. after all the times I was treated differently in the past
relationships, I finally met someone who accepts me for who I am and
also his family being so warm and welcoming towards me… hmmm…? God,
if this is a dream, never let me wake up to reality… It would just
shutter me to pieces… I’m already tested with this situation You have
given me… Don’t take away things that makes me happy in this world…
I know You know what’s good for me, God… Let it last til the day I
leave this world to meet You…. Thank you God.. You have been very
kind to me to bless me with such blessings… ~amin~
                      I wrapped up yesterday’s event with concluding my
uni work that needs to be submitted by Monday… I’m truly done with
it.. but at least I’ve done it… tonight I’ll conclude everything so
that it would be able to be submitted…
                               
                         Today, my baby boy has on off day…. but, he
has plans with his family… So i can’t be hogging him today.. But
seeing him yesterday @12:30am was nice… He came by to drop off my
laptop… *sigh* He’s gone to N9 for his elder bro’s meminang & tunang
ceremony… It looks as though my baby boy’s family is stuck with
people who are with kampung of N9… I miss my kampung… oh well… I
hope they have a safe journey there…

Better go study or something…

~transmission ends 11:30am 24072005~

Dear journal…
                   Amazing day i had… Although it had started pretty
weirdly and that I didn’t get to go and watch T-Rex movie… I had fun
nevertheless…
                   In a nutshell… had gone to my man’s house coz
Aunty Su wants a favour from me… then later at night, shahril had to
return back what was borrowed… Yes, I went there… I spent time a
little… Was even tegur-ed to be a little chubbier by Aunty Su’s
daughter… but, it’s all okies… *smiles*
                        Collected my Stealth
tix in OU… Dad dropped me and mom off.. and we were having so much
fun.. I miss these walks we have.. just the two of us before we both
were sick… I kinda like it too… Terserempak with Haniff… hai laa
haniff.. kenapa kita punyer meeting points "terserempak" mode??
Exchange our ‘hi’s.. intro to me mom… and then made a joke over his
phone… *FARRA… he has not yet changed phone.. the one i saw looks
like Nokia 3310.. was it haniff?*
                      I remembered those days when I usually have these
mother daughter walks and outings.. it was incredibly tiring and
pointless.. but it was a definite fun! Dulu.. we both would travel all
over in KL area.. particularly, Jln Masjid India and also Jln TAR… It
was so much fun… gossipin’ while walking… observing other teens or
couples or girls.. look at their clothes… it was fun… i truly miss
it…
                      We had dinner at Johnny’s… ouh best.. sangat
and teramatlah seronok! I love being with my mom… was gonna invite
her to Sushi.. maybe next time laa…
                      Came back home, did my homework… I still have
tonnes to read… but no matter.. I know I’ll be able to read it in a
jiffy.. Insya-Allah…

I think I’ll sleep now… g’nite…

~transmission ends 02:03am 24072005~

Dear journal…
                   I must thank God for today’s events… What had
happened? Well… I woke up and felt a little lucky today… I had felt
that way all morning… and it was a sure thing that I was a little
luckier than usual today….
                   Firstly, I was checking my mails and was getting
ready to go to uni… What I normally do was that I’d do a
multi-tasking event… I’d eat my breakfast whilst being online;
checking on my mails and stuff and also taking my medication…. I was
amazed when I found out that I had won tickets to watch Stealth on the 28th of July, 2005; 9:15pm! @TgV, OU… all thankx to Timeout Chocolates….
I’m suppose to collect the tickets tomorrow with the TimeOut Chocolate
wrappers… Thankx to my mom, she had bought me the chocolates…
*yeay*

                        That’s why I posted that "Wanted: A Fun Partner"
in my ‘market’ space… because honestly, up til now, I’m still
uncertain as to who I am going with…. Worst comes to worst, I’ll
probably sell off the tickets…. We’ll definitely see how it goes… I
wanna go.. with a fun partner….
                        Went to uni, and I found that the copy center was empty… I literally asked the kakak that was working there why there’s no one… she just smiled and answered that "pagi kot dik…"
Waaa.. my luck… Usually, the copy center would be darn pack with
people that it makes me wanna give up on waiting…. imagine about
15-20 people, all waiting around the island of the copy center! There
isn’t even a que… ever so often, I tend to just cut the line of
people there… but, there was no line to cut in the first place! *note
to self: if want to copy anything come on early Friday mornings*
                   Another luck was that I wasn’t killed with my
lecturer with tough questions.. I prepared and prepared thoroughly, and
I was asked a pretty simple question… I guess, it wouldn’t be that
simple if I had not prepared, kan? My luck….
                   Coming to the end of the class, i was fidgeting as I
knew the probability of me going home early was not possible… But
somehow God had heard me fidgeting.. and was kind enough to let through
my dad’s sms saying that he’s at the law premises… *Alhamdullillah
and yeay again*
                   Went home and had a good rest and lunch.. I thought
of starting my PP work straight away but my mind was simply not up for
it… So i went online… I checked other stuffs… Then nearing
Maghrib, I was feeling another lucky strike… I just had that
feeling.. SO I continued to surf online no matter how tired I was..
*was alone at this point.. parents went to see my sister*
                   Guess what? I won another ticket.. 2 passes to go
watch the i-Max theather… The one with 3D screenings… One ticket is
worth Rm20… But, no one to go with… Maybe will be going with my
dad… Still not sure though… Mom’s a bit reluctant for me to go with
girls only.. she’s way safer if it was daddy or shahril… but, shahril
is working and I don’t know if dad’s up for it… *sigh*
                   Now I’m just waiting for Shahril to come back.. I
really wanna tell him the good news… but, I know that I’m not able to
go for it…
No less.. happy that the luck thing was happening for the whole day….
Thanking God for everything that has happened throughout the day and
night…
                        Ouh.. another thing is I’m starting on this virtual treasure hunt in KICKSTART…. Really a brain teaser…. But it really made me have a different set of thinking…. Time to do some work… later people!

~transmission ends 11:05pm 22072005~

Dear journal….
                   I had the most interesting and tiring day today….
Because right after that entry I had before, I went to uni… I resumed
my classes.. and I had lunch with my favourite people… Farah had
sent me back home.. all the while I was still smiling as I had a
feeling I wound meet with my man today… Sigh… I miss him already…
                        As his day ended at work, he decided to call me to ask me lepak…I was more than happy.. and really excited… gotten myself all ready.. sprayed myself with my new Victoria Secret "Love Spell" Body Splash.. (thank you Fary… that was ONE interesting thing) and I had gotten myself  ready…
                   The second thing that happened today was that I had
to have a rather heaty discussion with my man’s friend in Penang Mari..
for once, we were not arguing over football.. although it revolves
around the things he and my man likes, (not that I was for or against
it).. but I look as though I was defending the opposite side… It was interesting to see that my man’s friend could actually carry out a really lengthy and heaty discussion with me…

                   After that…. I had my third interesting thing as
we were going home… I saw the moon being sooo huge and bright.. It
still is.. it’s so bright.. that reminded me on how an article was
given to me recently via e-mail that the Planet Mars would be VERY near to us in this coming days.. By 27th August, 2005
the planet will be really visible and bright and will be shining
brighter than the moon… It was a rather interesting news.. I wonder
on it’s truth… but, I’m willing to believe…
                       Caught Down With Love
in Astro… it was a simply funny story… the ending kinda blowed a
bit.. momentum a little gone with Renee Zellweger yapping away.. it was
rather hard to follow her conversation… But I liked how it ended.. a
typical hollywood "girl gets boy"…
                   But the most interesting thing I had tonight was to
look at my man, and simply able to smile.. I know.. I’m mushy.. but can
you actually blame me?

                        On other news…. Berita Harian Online had reported on US congressman, Tom Tancredo, who refuses to retract his suggestion or even apologize for the statement he has made… the statement? His suggestion of bombing
the Holy City of Mecca if it is proven that Al-Qaeda is behind the
bombings and if they are to use nuclear weapons again. Read it here….

Ahli Kongres AS pertahan bom Makkah

and also here…

Exclusive: US Representative Tom Tancredo in Response to U.S. Nuke Threat:
We Could Nuke Mecca

*Sigh…* If we look into
history, when Tentera Abrahah tried to take down Kaabah, what had
happened? Had they not read our Quran? I’m sure they did.. but, I
think… this Tom guy didn’t.. or simply does not believe in God.. You
destroy His place of worship, He will overturn your country.. You are
just giving Him ways of doing so.. just by thinking it…
God will punish those in a wrong…. and if US decides to bomb and
continue NOT to retract the statement, they will get what is coming…

Marilah sama2 mendoa-kan keselamatan Kota Suci Mekah… Semoga Tuhan
membalas apa yang telah di fikir atau diniatkan di hati mereka…
*amin* al-fatihah…

~transmission ends 01:20pm 22072005~

Dear journal….
                I’m currently @home.. still not out yet to my uni…
Drifting into a dream land.. *sigh* I should not do this… I should be
focusing… Instead, I’m thinking of my sayang…
Why? because I was founded with an old Mp3 of Beyonce… No… not Baby
Boy.. that just reminds me of our first few months of being together…
It’s the other song.. Dangerously in Love….
                This song journal remind me of our times together….
the times after the 3 months itch… I’m sure those who are very active
in relationships would know, journal, of the 3 months itch… That was
when the relationship breaks or makes it to the following month… I
was playing save all the while before 3 months ended… I didn’t want
to fall too hard and deep.. after all, there’s so many uncertainties…
Heck, he introduced me as his girlfriend, but I had intro him as my
friend…. I was that scared of having more emotional scars…
                But as I’m sitting here, listening to the song… I
realize that I am truly Dangerously in Love with Shahril Nizam bin
Abdul Karim….

Everytime I see your face,
My heart smiles…
Everytime it feels so good,
It HURTS sometimes…
Created in this world,
To LOVE
To HOLD
To FEEL
To BREATHE
To LIVE YOU…
Dangerously in love…

~transmission ends 9:05am 21072005~

Dear journal…
                    Yesterday, I had gone out with my girlfriend… Miss Laila N…
it was simply amazing.. although it seems as though we were not gonna
make it for the show… But it turns out that we were able to make it
on time.. We arrived about 5 mins before the show had started.. Not a
late comer at all…
            
    Laila’s uncle was in the act of the theather.. He’s
really funny and good too… I’m glad that he had purchased the tix in advance for Laila…  It was rather fun… a true quality…

               
One thing that i’ve learnt in the musical theater… things happen for
a reason… and no matter what, Don’t give up, hold on to your dreams and reach for the stars….
Nothing is unreachable actually.. as long as you try your best, with
God’s help, insya-Allah, the stars you try to reach and capture will be
in your hands.. *not intended to sound like a Celcom advert*
                    Where did we both go..? We went to a place to call home…
It is definitely somewhere I want to be at… It’s so beautiful! so
calming… so tranquil… I love it ever so much.. It was worth the
hassle, kan Laila?? We felt really like we were in somewhere out of
Malaysia for a while there… Took lots of photos… Will definitely come home more…
               
At night, met up with Shahril @Santai.. we had our dinner there…
Then, we were joined by Shahrul… both of them had planned to journey
some mamak stall that night.. It was cute the fact that he asked my
permission to go.. I’m happy that he gave me that sort of respect… Go
sayang.. I’m not a person who is not reasonable.. I know that you have
your life and your bunch of friends as I do… We don’t have plans that
night, so, you are truly off the hook…
               
I had stayed up late as I was checking out my stuff online… I needed
to do some things for myself… and then, i’ve got to edit some
photos… but, by 2:30am, I was too tired… Said my goodnites to
fellow chatters.. expecially my dear sis, Farra… who is currently at
work now…..
               
Well… it’s now nearing 4pm.. and I need to do some work… Yes,
assignments have started.. lectures too… n I am loving it… I wonder
why some people think that lectures starting is gonna be pening
kepala…? It’s just the way people approach uni or school kan… For
example… when this person asked me, what i was doing.. I said i was
getting some things ready for classes tomorrow.. what did he reply?
Mesti pening kepala kan??
               
I don’t know bout people out there.. but I find this type of answer is
just simply dumb… why? If it is pening kepala, i’d sound as though
I’m complainin.. but I am not.. I’m actually happy doing what I do…
Why not YOU just stick to your work in the office, okies? and leave
YOUR comments about school or uni life to yourself…. It might be pening
for you… but not for me… YOU obviously DON’T KNOW ME… and I’m not
in the mood to know YOU… You know who you are… *yeah.. i’m a little
offended.. no biggie..* Hate it when people categorize me the same with
themselves.. YOU are not me… I’m not you… YOU have no idea the
meaning of struggling through life… Not to say I have.. but if takat
ada problem in workplace.. tak yah cerita laa… I’ve got my own
problems to handle… YOU have brains and health.. use them wisely
before they are truly lost forever… okies?

               
Well… as I said.. I’m gonna start my uni work…. I love this picture
of me… Doesn’t really look like I’m in Malaysia, kan??

~transmission ends 04:10pm 17072005~

ntntDear journal…
                   Yesterday… all my troubles were so close at bay..
The KL jamm.. It was terrible!!! Never try to go out to KL on a Friday
after 5pm… and whilst it’s raining! It’s simply impossible to get
anywhere…
                   I had begun my day @about 9am.. I went to university
to resume my classes today.. Mom had bought me a really nice long skirt
and white blouse before I started uni.. and so, I wore that with a
matching tudung… Today was just one of those days that I wanted to
look nice for me…
                   Shahril said he’d pick me up after my one hour
class… *class started at 11am.. came early to finish up some
adjustment matters for my friend* I was happy that he had wanted to
pick me from university… But, was a little quesy when I got to know
his mama and sister would be following.. In other words, I’d be
following them do some errands..
I don’t mind because Saturday & Sunday are my free days…. But, I
am a little uneasy because it’s his mama… I’m still phobia over the
whole meeting the boy’s mom… Nevertheless, I sucked my gut in and
tagged along…
                   Unexpected turn of events had happened along the
way.. but, I was still determine to smile and put a brave front..
She’s a nice lady… and so is his sister… both I’m sure one day I’ll
be very comfortable being around… For now, I’m just adjusting to the
fact that I’m going out with his family… It’s just so different from
my past relationships..
                   Anyways, we went to Taman Melati.. then went to
Cheras… all of which, we finished our errands by 6pm… As we were
heading back home, it was raining heavily.. and the Kuala Lumpur
traffic was at a stand still at almost ALL the roads… We were stuck
at all the major roads for about 4 hours! I apploud to the fact that I
noticed Shahril did not smoke in the car whilst being in the jamm…
I’m really proud of that… Although, he does his typical whining,
but… who am i to complain? His mama is there in the front seat with
him! so…. if she can stand it, i think i’ll get use to it somehow…
                  I’m so sorry that he had to miss his jamming
session… But, I know that from the four hours of being stuck in a
traffic jamm with him and the family, I learn a lot… for one thing I
dare not sleep because I’m afraid I’d snore…
So, I stayed awake and closed my eyes at certain times… Kept my mind
awake and busy.. and I looked around… Shasha was listening to her
handphone radio… his mama was in front with my man.. while I was just
looking around more….
                   Well… in a nutshell, yesterday was a real big
traffic jamm day for me… Came back home by 10pm… Spent at least
1hour at his house after the jamm.. the trauma of the jamm is somehow
still haunting my mind… Had a headache which only was able to cure
with sleep by about midnite….

                        Now, I’m waiting for Laila to go to KLPAC…. better log off everything b4 she does arrive!

~transmission ends 01:37pm 16072005~