Me, MYSeLF & i…

GIRLS FILL OUT THE TOP.
GUYS FILL OUT THE BOTTOM.
POST IT UP SO WE SEE WHAT’S UP.
REPOST WITH THE TITLE
"WHAT TURNS ME ON/OFF"

~~~***~~~

About guys…
[Turned ON, OFF or DC (Don'tcare)]

Is taller than you: ON
Is shorter than you: OFF
Wears braces: DC
wears a grill: OFF
Dresses Preppy: DC
Dresses Ghetto: OFF
Dresses Gothic: OFF
Has blue eyes: OFF
Has green eyes: OFF
Has hazel eyes: ON
Brown eyes: ON
Drinks alcohol: OFF
Wears glasses: DC
Smokes: DC
Plays sports: DC
Smiles a lot: ON
Calls you just to say Hi: ON
Compliments you: ON
Good dancer: DC
Wears jewelry: OFF
Smiles when you walk in the room: ON
Has brown hair: DC
Has Black hair: ON
Has blonde hair: OFF
Has red hair: OFF
Makeup: OFF
Can make you laugh at any given moment: ON
Loyal: ON
Laid back: ON
Plays guitar: ON
Plays drums: ON
Sing: ON
he’s buff (muscles): DC
He can draw: ON
Easily jealous: DC
Doesn’t eat meat: OFF
is bi: OFF
has a tattoo: OFF
has a lip ring: OFF
has tongue ring: OFF

_______________________________
About girls…
[Turned ON, OFF or DC (don't care)]

dresses like a grandma:
plays musical instrument:
is shorter than you:
same height as you:
is taller than you:
has chapped lips:
has green eyes:
has blue eyes:
has brown eyes:
has long hair:
has med. hair:
has short hair:
drinks alcohol:
smokes cigs:
smokes weed:
wears glasses:
has blonde hair:
has brown hair:
has black hair:
has red hair:
works out:
smiles:
calls you just to say hi:
creative:
compliments you:
shaves her legs:
wears jewelry:
has bigger feet than you:
has smaller feet than you:
smiles when you walk into the room:
belly piercings:
virgin:
laid back:
doesn’t party:
likes to party:
wants to party:
laughs a lot:
giggles:
snorts:
pierced ears:
pierced anything else:
tattoos:
honest and open:
goes to church/mosque :
loves GOD:

About two years ago, I had to
be in HuKM to do my kidney biopsy. But before I went under the doctor’s
care in HUKM, I was partying with Shahril @ a BEP concert at Stadium
Terbuka Equasterian.

My friend, Azreena… she was admitted on
the same night I was in the hospital. She gave birth to a healthy baby
boy, Arif Shaquille bin Azree. Now, everytime they celebrate his
birthday, I am reminded of the night I was waiting for my biopsy.

That was two years ago… 2004.

Now, I’m back for another doctor’s care.

THIS IS NOT A SAD ENTRY PEOPLE.

Somehow…
everything I write seems to be potrayed negatively or probably that i’m
sad. I’m fearful and I know that I’m entitle to my fear. So this is
where I blog it out.

It’s not that I’m sad. I’m scared. Not of death. But of the operation gone wrong.

Today… was a good day. I was out again. (Day time)

Had
to change my spoilt DVD-RW at the Curve. Dad gave some money too buy a
Wireless Access Point. With my positive bargaining personality, I
actually got to reduce the original price and got myself a new mouse
for the pc. The old one was simply running amuck.

Then I
received an sms from mommy saying that I could extend my outing today
but not too late because she was going to show the route to HuKM to my
sister. I showed the sms to my man; we had gone around the Curve until
finally settling upon to stay @Secret Recipe. I had hot chocolate and a
piece of Yoghurt cake.

After that, we went around again. I
dragged him to Borders, the bookstore that’s comparatively as big as
MPH (or maybe bigger). I had fun browsing inside the bookstore but I
doubt Shahril had as much fun. As usual, I had to buy books… so had
one of Jean P.Sassoon’s titles and also another chic lit (don’t ask me
why).

By around 2.30-ish, we got bored…. and so, we went to
Hoxers’. We both had some quiet time there together. We both wanted to
invite our fave "daughter" to join… but, when she sms-ed me, I knew
she was at her usual place.

Came the time I had to go home….
Waited for Kabir and Raina, but they came at 5:10pm. At that, Nadia was
out from the house already, she had to go somewhere.

Watched
Skeleton Key with Nadia whilst waiting for Kabir and had a watch of an
interesting story that Kabir brought by when they arrived (title of
this story is not revealed due to secrecy). The movie was damn good…
it made the other two movies click finally.

Nadia came back…
and later with Fary…. my quota of close friends are complete. Kabir,
Raina, Nadia and Fary. All the people who actually stuck by me through
my university life; it boiled down to these four colourful characters.
We watched Oprah, Koffee with Karan (finale), bits of KL City and
Tortura of Shakira.

I had to record the last say from them so
that I can watch ‘em later on in my life and see how much these
memories gives me the smiling times.

Two years ago, the thing
that made me enjoy before i entered the hospital was BEP concert with
Shahril… presently, I had the unspoken value of friendship from the 4
people from university the night before I get admitted. Thank you.

Thank
you to Sri, Ojah and Azrain for making the effort to come on 29th
April, 2006. You people made time for me, and I appreciate that more
than you know.

For the rest… thank you for the good wishes,
the prayers… the cheering up, the sms… the get-well soon… It’s
soooooooooooooooo overwhelming. I’m scared, but I know everyone’s there
to back me up and pray for my well being.

I gave my heart
necklace back to Shahril, in hope that he’ll return it back to me when
I recover nanti… along with other memories that I had preserved of
"us". Sms, pictures.. tokens.. our first message on friendster..
everything. printed. copied. filed.

Nadia Ashikin Maganda - I heart you too.

Fary - muuuuuuuuuuuahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhsss…

Raina - big hugsss…

Kabir - see you later "boy"

Sri & Azrain - take care of each other tau!

Ojah - be good and good luck in everything!

Sharani - muaaaaaaaahhsss…

Ihsan - thankx for the sms.

Multiply friends… every and each one of you who wished… THANK YOU.

my
dearest Shahril Nizam Abdul Karim - For the next coming months, I will
be bedridden most of the time. I don’t expect sympathy from you, but
just your care, support and loving as you always have given me. I love
you sayang. My prince. My heart.

(I know.. not an award AIM show.. but, i have to)

Last entry… but I WILL BE BACK PEOPLE!

Today, Ojah, Sri and Azrain came by… we watched AIM. (the only thing majority of the house was watching…)

They brought CAKE for a "Good Luck on ur Op"… my sweet sweet friends.

Thank you girls.. and Azrain. Thank you for taking the time to just hang out with me tonight and remind me there’s more to life than being online. I am glad you peep came by.

Thankx for the visit… i really am touched.

Only God is able to balas your kindness to me… I am just another human being.

Take care you peeps… all the best.

*Ojah - take care in Penang
*Sri - take care of yourself and your man…
*Azrain - take care of Sri… mak aii.. ko memang dah lain ~but it’s a good change~

My days now are filled with
being online, reading some of my novels that I bought, watching
vcd/dvds and also sleeping early. No more late night chats with my
"bro" in USA, or even my "anak".. or even playing pool with the one
person who beats me most of the time; Haniff.

It’s really boring
you know. I don’t fancy sleeping that much. I think it’s a waste of
time. Hahaha.. I know… I know… I’m a weird gal.

Anyways, today is my 2nd day at home. Didn’t stay home like mom requested to. She got me to go to One-Utama to get my pedicure, manicure & haircut!

On
26th of April, I went to watch Gubra for the third time with my man.
Second time I watched it with my dear friend, Kabir. I still cannot
understand how can a movie that triggers so much bangga feeling for me, is such a controversial movie for majority of people. The list goes on…

• Poster of Orked hugging Alan (Muslim and non-Muslim)
• Bilal touching a dog on the way to mosque
• Bilal and wife befriending prostitutes
• Controversial kisses and hugs
• Bilal cooking for his wife… one of the commentors said that a wife shouldn’t even let the husband jejak kaki in the kitchen.
• Hospital conversations and scenes…

…and the list goes on.
But, as I said… I’ve watched it for three times and I don’t think it’s menyesatkan. Then again, I’m a new type of timeline. I maybe labelled sesat just by admitting all this.

Anyways,
today I went for a hair cut. Initially we were to go and do my pedicure
and manicure but mom opted to have my hair chopped off… and so it was
snipped at Dry Cut. The place was nice and the senior hairstylist was baik.

Mom even paid for my pedicure and manicure. I really like Carol, Rita &
(especially) Ifa. They treat me so nicely there. I felt pampered! Rita was doing my pedicure and she was fearful of getting my ingrown toenail out; so Ifa
stepped in and gotten the thing out. God knows how much it hurts to
have that thing in my flesh… as she was trying to get it out, it
hurts. As soon as she got it out… OMG.. it felt so good.

This is why I love to do my nails here at Missy Nails.
They really do have some
sort of expertise. Immediately I asked her
whether she does housecalls to get nails out, she replied yes. I’m so
loving this place!

They also love to see my man, Shahril. Why?
Simply because he pushes me around in the wheelchair and he waits on
the chair until I finish my french manicure. Which takes ages to siap.
And so… they were asking where he was since I came in with my mom.

"Alaa… dia kat rumah la" I said. (What else could I say?)

Tonight, there’s a Layar Tanchap performing at Puncak Niaga, Bangsar.
But, due to my confinement period, I am not able to go with Nad, Pucha
and P’ning. I asked Shahril to go on my behalf with them… after all,
he is their "daddyO" and he is a man. Wouldn’t want my girls to be wandering around without bodyguard.

They came by and saw my short hair. *giggles* I feel like a kid again.

I like… but i’m making a fuss that I don’t

I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

Maybe I was tired to be so sensetive… but, it was my principle.

Getting pointed at that I don’t go by my profession was not what I call a joke…

I’m sorry, the conversation sticks in my head… I know you are regretting what you did.

But as usual, I just don’t know how to erase such conversations from playing over and over again.

Arrrgghhh… I DON’T LIKE to be angry at you… why do you like to make me tick off?

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…. sheesh.

Most of you here know by now
that I’m in a dilemma. But, I managed to put it off and trash it at the
back of my head for the most surprising event…

Yesterday, my "anak" turn 24.

18th Aprl, 2006. - 24 years old.

I didn’t want her to be glum and thank God my other "anak2" planned a surprise dinner for my "anak". The along of them all.

After Sunway Lagoon on the 17th, we went to Genki. That was when I
received the master plan from P’ning. It was me who suggested Pelita,
Bangsar… easier I guess.

The plan was discreetly executed whilst she was around. My excitement
grew and I hope the surprise works out. I want this sweet gal to have a
good celebration to remember by.

Morning came… darn. First halangam - construction on my roadside. Aduh.

Hope it clears by nightfalls. My boy said they stop kerja by 7pm. *Phew*

Next - someone ajak us (me and nad) out to have minum2… alamak.If
this person go and take my "anak" for something more than minum2, we’re
screwed!

Nad was back by 8pm. Ahh…. nasib baik.

Then, alarm was not working properly for Shahril.. we head back to ttdi
to tukar the alarm battery and the screw of the alarm. We execute drama
scene 1 - P’ning tak jadi ikut.

Believable? she seems to think so.

A little blur anakku harinih.. maybe coz of the results that she had!
Which by the way was good that she got through everything!!

Scene 2 - place to eat. I said, I wanted to try out Pelita. She had a
weird look on her face… but, she didn’t click everything into place.
So, she really believed that I wanted to try out Pelita.

Scene 3 - sms P’ning to tell our plans was to meet at Pelita.
*what you didn’t know was, me and P’ning was sms-ing to tell each other mana to duduk when sampai…*

Scene 4 - sampai Pelita. nampak Zain… phew.. nasib baik si Nad terus lari sana…

Scene 5 (ini tricky) - duduk jer ngan the group Nad said hi to.
I knew Nad muka pelik… tapi, I’m glad that Zain was acting out. Nad
tak habis2 kata nanti P’ning join… hihi.. she bought the whole
"abang-MidValley* story!

Pandang belakang, nampak si Pucha. *another anakku* Dia tergamit2…
ahh.. nasib baik si Nad tak pusing belakang…sure nmpk punya!

Finale… terkejutkan si Nadia.

Her expression - priceless giler! It was so precious.

I’m happy that she is happy and REALLY SURPRISED.

I’ve been to many surprise birthday parties in my life where I’m a main
person to be involve in the wayang gambar…. but this is the far most
precious one ever. Just because its Nadia…

To my sweet daughter,
Happy Birthday, Maganda!

Today, I received sad news.

My dad’s "Dopod" was stolen. How??

This was his story… He was
going for Friday prayers at the masjid at Gombak area. He came out of
masjid, he got a shock of his life. The car was broken into.

Funnily enough, the thief didn’t take his laptop. But, his BRAND NEW "DOPOD" was stolen.

I only knew when I got back
home. I was devastated for my dad. He love that thing. I’m like him, we
love gadgets. But, when it’s lost… stolen… the only thing he could
do was sleep.

Mom didn’t press to ask what had happened.

I came home to a sleeping dad; so I couldn’t ask either.

But one thing’s for sure…. he’s sad. And so am I.

What has the world come to? Maybe he was careless… but he was driving the most kokak car… the sopak Proton Saga that breathes out smoke.

I hope God has a reason for this… He always does.. tapi… in the meantime, we’re just sad for his lost.

Previously, I blogged how much I was annoyed with my boyfriend… the saga continues.

I managed to keep at a low key, but when my mom start cucuk kenapa tak
keluar ngan Shahril or mana Shahril… stuff like that… I was pretty
upset and uptight.

Parents just don’t want to know about their children’s relationship,
but… when they start asking it gets annoying. I know I snapped
somehow that made my mom a tad angry. I know when she’s angry… I am
her daughter anyways… I have the same or rather similar way of
keeping my anger away for people’s view; but… that person knows I’m
angry with him/her.

Unless, of course that person kulit tebal. In this case, most men are… NOTE: i said MOST.

Anyways… when I got annoyed with questions, I snapped. She knows something is wrong, lagi mau tanya… diam2 sudah laa.

Still, she’s my mom. I know I owe her an apology for being snappish but
I am never good at giving out apologies, even if it is my fault. That
is a trait I got from my dad. His way of apology is talking to that
person nicely and trying to make conversation. This family would rarely
here him say, "I’m sorry". He is the man of the house, so I guess he is
never wrong.

Went out with Shahril close to 930pm. I missed CSi at 10pm on AxN. I
had an itch for sushi. So we had some sushi @Hartamas. He had cut his
hair, rather short I might add.

He was trying to treat me in a special way. I was just not in the mood.

Now, I’m cooled down… I still love him that’s why I’m giving him
another chance. BUT i hate giving too many chances on the same thing
over and over again.

Seriously, you guys out there ingat best ke nak marah you all? It’s freaking tiring!

I was gonna blog about this
yesterday, but I got caught up with memories of graduation. The
pictures keep on reeling in I have decided that my pictures are not
that bad… I’ve pretty much captured those I want to take pix with.
Although, there are others that I want to take one on one… but, if
memang tak de rezeki nak menangkap gambar nak buat cam mana, betul tak?

But, I certainly had a good time at my graduation dinner, even though
my boyfriend didn’t want to go for it, I was having a wonderful time.
My life doesn’t have to revolve around him. I should know that by now.

Anyways, yesterday I was suppose to catch Gubra @MidValley; but he had
something on. My plans to meet up Miss Laila pun tergendala. I know
that Laila could’ve come and fetch me, but… that’s just going to
menyusahkan Laila. I guess we have to catch a movie together some other
time, Laila dearest.

Early in the morning, I had to go to meet up with my doctors in the
orthopedic clinic. I slept late the night before but I still manage to
get up all fresh AND stil think about him. It’s sad AND annoying when
he doesn’t think the same or acts the same.

I sms him to make sure he wakes up for the interview he has at 10am. IT WOULD BE FREAKING NICE TO GET AN SMS BACK SAYING, "OK".. but did I get any, NO!

IT WOULD ALSO BE NICE IF HE CALMED MY NERVES FOR THE DOCTORS… does he even do that? NO!

Ok… I was at the doctors… waiting like a stupid patient. Waiting
patiently. Seriously, the Radiologist was with some new idiots who dont
have a system. The one taking my Xray was an idiot rookie who was tak sabar sangat sampai ketuk2 my changing room.Palat punya babi. I’m
trying to tukar baju here… and I am not like your normal patients.. I
have to balance my legs and change out of the outfit. Even with the
chair, it doesn’t help.

Took my Xray and waited at the ortho clinic.

Waited and waited… it was clear to 11am still neither my name nor my number was called.

Even during the most STRESSFUL & BUSY  time, I was able to sms him asking whether he had gone for the interview. Did I get a return sms? NOPE… A FUCKING NO!!

Twice in a row.. this is turning into the same thing when my last
doctor’s appointment and he had to go to N9 for his brother’s wedding.
Why can’t he just learn to balance? Life would be much better if he
did. I won’t be angry with him and he won’t get a girlfriend who
bothers him late at nights sms-ing him like crazy.

I’ve heard someone in my past who with his poyoness said that he constantly thinks of 6-7 things at a time. Seriously, that mamat POYO to the MAX. But, now I think about it, how I wish my boyfriend right now can do THAT instead of only aku jer memikir all the time!

Twice he tak sms… I brushed it off and waited for the doctors.

For awhile, I’m happy. Why? Sebab my doctors were there. I could see
the love and fondness they have for me. Always mengusik me. Even me mom
saw it in them…

Dr. Shahril (the MR. that’s going to operate on me… I know, ironic
isn’t it.. i think he’s not married either… prospect! muahahha… )
had actually BOTAK. When I saw, OMG! Cuter lagi rasanya Dr aku sorang nih.

He was diligently explaining my condition, what they’re going to do to
me… and how he jokingly said that they’re gonna plant a BMW in my legs… I couldn’t count the number of times I had giggled like a primary school girl. He’s so cute.

After awhile, Dr. Suhail came in. He gave me a pat on the shoulders and
gave salam. I think he’s fond of my strength. My mom thinks they all
really love to see me. Dr. Suhail tanya, "Dah habis studies dah?" and when I gave a huge smile and said "Yes."; he beamed and said "Congratulations…. that’s very good. Bila nak start kerja?" he asked. I said, tunggu til these legs are fixed. He nodded whilst looking at my Xray.

Note: these are my doctors who actually have not seen me for 8 freaking months. TAPI, they still remember the bits of details of my life. They ask the right questions. They have BANYAK LAGI PATIENT KAT LUAR TUH, BUT THEY STILL REMEMBER TO ASK ME ABOUT MY PROGRESS IN STUDIES. 8 BULAN TAK JUMPA, OK…. bukannya 2 -3 jam. And, to say they’re not occupied with other stuff, they are! How come they can still make me feel special… you, hmmphhh…

Anyways, the date is set for my operation on my right hips. Dr Hamdan
came in and the trio was discussing my condition. I saw how Dr. Shahril
had fondly dictated my case to Dr. Hamdan. They’re really a joker laa
this trio… but a sweet bunch of joker who makes their patients happy.
Particularly, me.

We wanted the op to be on 17th of May, but that wasn’t possible. The
theater was full; the nearest was in the month of August. Yet, Dr.
Shahril was looking at the op book and search for an available space to
squeeze me in.

Finally, 3rd of May was the date set. I will be admitted for
observation on the 2nd of May…. yes, it’s finally here. The thing
that scares me the most. Operating and cutting me open.

On the ride home, I called my boyfriend. *I don’t know why I did so…*

He still didn’t ask how my appointment went. fuck la

When I sms him after that, he asked. fuck fuck fuck

Came home, called to tell him I’m home. This is why I’m so freaking
angry. I’m angry that I cared to tell him my whereabouts and what I’m
doing… when he doesn’t even pick up his fucking
phone to sms me when he’s occupied with things in mind.

FUCK FUCK FUCK

Later the evening, he wasn’t busy, so.. he sms laa… he said he
was going to be home today at 11pm. So, I waited…. and waited… til
2am! No call.

Kalau dia kata dia tak call, tak per… nih dia kata dia akan call. I
hate to be kept waiting when I could’ve gone to sleep instead. FUCK.

I was worried. I thought he’d be caught in an accident ke… the worst
I had in mind. Tapi, last2 dia dengan kawan dia. Selalunya, if he was
with a friend, he’d sms. So, now what’s the fucking deal? Ntah2 they
having a fucking time with some betina kat luar. How would I know kan?
That’s why LUPA betina yang kat umah nih yang menunggu your call.

FUCK la Shahril… I "LOVE" Waiting!

Laki, semua fucking sama. Laki yang jadi boyfriend laa… they think
kita nih setia menunggu so biar dia tunggu. FUCK la.. baik tak yah ada
laki cam nih. Baik I flirt ngan laki2 yang bertauliah like Dr. Shahril
ke… lagi best.

Place         : Grand Ballroom 1, Legend Hotel, KL
Time          : 8pm til midnight
Occassion  : Jura Law graduation dinner, 2006

Arrival : 7:20pm with family.