Yesterday was my cousin’s birthday… Mr. Amir Haziq. He turned 6 years old.
Preaparation : balloons galore, games and prizes and music entertainment.
People attended : birthday boy, my family and Uncle Shamlan.
Value : Priceless… He was at first shy but later on had a good time playing games and the new bicycle he got from my parents. I’m happy for him…
Yesterday
was my gemstone day. Ok… wrong usage of that word, but it felt
precious to me. I went out to the Curve. It was interestingly fun and
uplifting. I did things that’s been a long time since I’ve done it.
God
gave me another surprise. As we all arrived (my dad, mom and myself)
there was a TMNET Broadband exhibition somewhere nearer to Borders
area. Interestingly enough, there was no artiste perfomance then…
but, I had a hunch there will be. Surely I was right.
We decide
to have Secret Recipe for lunch. It was close to tea actually… I had
Spaghetti… yumsss.. lama sungguh tak makan pasta. It was good to eat
it again. Enjoyed it to the last drop. Then, my mom went to the Bazaar
at the Walk area.
As we finished our meals, my dad and I went
strolling to the TMNET area. I heard "Da Bomb" ending of song. And it
was Ruffedge. I rushed the wheelchair and came near to the event. There
wasn’t that much of a crowd; but there was a crowd. I was able to hear
them sing Bila Rindu and also Lemas from Ruffera. I got their poster
and it was autograph too.. Courtesy of Azan helping out a girl on a
cane who couldn’t climb the stage for an autograph. Zain and Ameer
signed it too.
I got their performance in my handphone. Sound
qulity is ok.. but the visual quality a little poor. But having a live
performance is good. Speaking with Azan was nice. Like I told my uncle,
Azan’s a PR in the group.
Came back happy. I had basked in the day’s glory! I bought some books from Borders. 3 for the price of 2. Picked out English Harem, Blink & It’s called a Breakup because it is Broken.
I met my girlfriend Fatiha there with her friend. (Sorry Ha… could
not recall the name.) My mom bought me some things too. She bought me
an England jersey from Bazaar and also some Nail accessories for me. I
was thrilled.
I had two special drinks at Secret Recipe. One
before the TMNET show and one after. Hot chocolate and then Cafe Latte.
All the things that makes me happy. Good food and good drinks.
My
day ended with a terrific goal from DAVID BECKHAM of England. He took
his free kick at the 60th minute of the game. It looked as though it
didn’t make in. it had touched the goalkeeper’s hands and had touched
the tiang gol… but it went it barely. I couldn’t believe it was a
goal at first until they showed the replay. To my eyes, it had looked
as though the bal had played with side net of the goal and went out of
the goal net. But it actually went in!
That means, England
qulifies for the next stage and they meet Portugal. (By the way, I was
wearing England jersey the whole night of the match…)
That IS WHY yesterday was a gemstone day - it was precious!
Today?
It was great too. I had physiotheraphy. Azrul’s last day there. I’ll
get a new phsiotherapist the next visit. But I had a good day today
too. Good food - Chicken chop for lunch and dinner - spiral pasta soup
with bread. Drinks… my kordial yummies and hot chocolate. Life is
getting better. Alhamdullillah.
I went somewhere on Saturday
too… and so did Friday (doctor’s visit… "You’re Healthy" entry) I
think I’m feeling better with the fact that I’m actually moving about
and out of the house. Saturday, I was able to walk with my cane at OU
new wing. Bought some Nail buffing kit and also had bought some gifts
for my friend’s birthday that’s coming soon. I bought a pretty gelang
too for myself. It’s pretty and expensive…. but mom had subsidized.
Alhamdullillah….
I have to say it again. Coz it’s been so long since I have actually
been able to feel this way again. I’m scared if the feeling goes away.
I hope it won’t though.
Believe or not to believe in
such statements, it is entirely up to you and yourself. For me, this is
my conclusion. Even jerks can teach us something whether we realize it
or we don’t. Jerks makes us realize that we shouldn’t be a jerk. No, it
has nothing to do with the fact that I’ve been having conversations
with this particular person; but it has eveything to do with how I see
my life at present.
I believe and have always believed that every person, no matter what
they are, they are of worth. Look at the one person I have dated
before, he may not be entirely good person as a whole, but he is of
worth too. His profession and the way he does it in his own style, made
him reach to that level. His friends accept him for who he is and if
those who can’t (like me) just have to either not talk to that person
or just remain quiet about it. Watch as he astounds you or makes a fool
of himself. If he astounds you, doesn’t that mean you are wrong? If he
makes a fool of himself, doesn’t that mean you are right… so what?
It is not easy living other people’s shoes. Even for me, I know my
burden is heavy, but there are others who carries a heavier burden than
me. Those around me, supporting me, they are carrying their burden…
even that I’m not sure how heavy their burden is.
But, each of us have their own dream… own wish. Own success to achieve or have achieved.
I once watched an interview of Tun Mahathir’s medic lecturers before he
retired. Some of them didn’t fancy Tun M. They think he is just an
average person who would pass at very minimal requirements. Some of the
seniors of Tun’s wife (then she was just his girlfriend) and her
lecturers did not agree to their relationship. Quoting from the
interview, "She is simply to good and excellent bright student to be
with him (refering to Tun M)"
I laughed at that statement. They had belittled Tun M when he was
studying medic. Did that get to him? No. He continued to study be with
the woman who he thinks is worthy to be with. She hadn’t treated him
indifferently just because the community that she lives in did not
agree with their relationship. Look where he headed then. He became one
of the Prime Ministers of Malaysia. His girlfriend, became a repectable
wife and they are happy together.
How do we know what we are worth? If we don’t know ourselves, what gives others the right belittle us? Do they know their fates?
So what if this guy I dated was a jerk when I knew him? Will he turn
out differently later on in life? Will he be in the circle of my life
where I will bump into him again?
Doesn’t mean a person with low grades or just an SPM holder cannot
reach in a place of his or her llife where they are comfortable with. A
degree or diploma is definitely a key to answer job adverts but is it
truly a key of experiance? Even if a person has a Graphic Design
Diploma holder, what use is the Diploma IF you don’t even try to
practice the thing you’ve learned…?
What’s a law degree with a 4.0 CGPA if you can’t articulately speak
your way to defend your client’s right or interest? It has always been
a joke among us all that the learned Counsel Karpal Singh had won many
cases diligently… but was he an excellent student?
God created everyone with their own kelebihan. If you yourself cannot
see it, what makes you think others can? If you believe in yourself,
you know you can go through all the way.
Think about it… would Tun M became Tun M, ex prime minister of
Malaysia had he allowed others to continue belittle and ridiculed him?
So what’s your worth…?
…Dr. Soehardi Z said as he was checking my blood test result.
Lets rewind….
Nearing to the door of the clinic, a panel of doctors pass by… in the
middle was a guy who I saw was very familiar. He smiled at me as I
stared at him and I smiled back. It was Tan Sri Isa; Menteri of Negeri
Sembilan state. It was a little thrilling to meet with politicians.
I’ve met Datuk Shahrizad during an SLE gathering at OU by a school. She
was very friendly and gave me words that reminded me to continously be
strong. She had a relative who died of SLE before; she made it known in
her speech.
Yes, I love meeting politicians. It gives me more rush than meeting
artiste or movie stars. I get that tongue tied feeling when I do meet
up with them (politicians). I am always left with a feeling of awww…
It doesn’t matter if that person is of the opposition of the government
or the governement.
I was also there masa Tun Mahathir came to UIA for his honorary
doctorship. I was able to get his signature and was able to take a
picture with him. Although, the person who took my picture was actually
someone I didn’t know, so I didn’t get to keep that picture.
Three politicians - Tun Mahathir, Datuk Shahrizad and Tan Sri Isa.
back to the clinic in HuKM…. waited for the doctor to see me. Weight
71kg. Blood pressure, normal. Finally was called my time (jumpa about 5
min only ok… grr… but worth it.) to meet the doctor. Came in, Dr.
Soehardi was having my file. Someone I know, I like that already. As I
sat, he asked how I felt. I said "I feel good".
I earnestly asked, "So, how’s my blood test result?"
He said, "Ok.. lets check…" and he flipped open my sheet of result
test. (Felt nervous as ever.. and like always when the reading of blood
test is being seen.)
"Your urine sample, negative protein… negative… hmm… just blood
ada 4+" and he tally it with my previous records. "…but that seems
normal."
He moved to my blood test result… and as he was checking, he ticked.
"Your kidney is normal… (tick) (tick) Liver functioning good…
(tick) Cholesterol level… wow impressive (tick). You’re healthy.
Tacrolimus count is on the line. Your sugar count is good."
(I thank God… Alhamdullillah.)
I came home smiling. The visit wasn’t a total stressful event as I had
anticipated. I passed my blood test and urine test. I gained a few kg
since my operation-drop-of-kg.
Thankx to whoever prayed for my well being. My medication is now
alternate 1 and half pills with 1 pill of prednisalone every day for a
month… then the following month 1 pill of pred everyday onwards. I am
getting stabilized.
… and that someone is not my boyfriend.
It was an interesting long talk. I guess, when things go really bored with me, I can always count on some kind of entertainment to make me happy. Not once this person asked how I was doing. All the while, this person was very focused on the problem at hand.
I don’t blame this person’s absence of question about my well-being. I’ve known this person for such a long time and this person’s ignorance doesn’t surprise me anymore. In fact, it’s something I have learned to accept in this friend of mine.
Yes, this person has no bigger problem than mine, but we were one of the same. We are getting bored with our present life. It’s nice to know that this person’s life is not as swell as I thought it would be. Actually, that’s bad on my behalf, I admit… but, I don’t really want this person to be totally happy with his life. (Okay… okay… I AM a bad person.)
Honestly, the conversation of ours were interupted several times, and I thought, I won’t be hearing from this person… but, even after 15 minutes… this person called back. And we talked the whole day. Almost 2 hours and more.
I’m actually smiling at this conversation I had. It was nice to be civil again to each other. And, I know that there’s a reason for all this to happen. If this is a part of me that I need to deal with… I shall.
I’m still smiling. And no one knows about this story yet. Happy that you reading this.
Today’s interesting horoscope…
"Get yourself away from the hustle and bustle of social obligations. Take time out."
Not bad… i’m to take time out from social obligations. Oh well, might as well watch the vcds I bought…
Call me an idiot for following AF4, I don’t care… it’s my right. But I do follow it throughout the whole show for this season… including the diaries. My fave has always been Haziq from Kluang Johor (nothing to do with the fact I am from Johor myself) and also Karen from Kelantan.
A sad turning point was when Karen did not receive many votes last Sunday’s show. She was actually booted out from the academy. There goes my fave student.
Karen. A sweet Chinese Kelantanese girl who sings Malay songs well. Her performance of Kerna Terpaksa (originally sung by Francisca Peters) was actually up to par. I was actually terkejut when Aznil finally announced who actually got booted out due to not enough of votes to stay on top.
Today, after the clouds are much clearer, I see that it is not a TOTAL lost that Karen was booted out. She made it thus far. She gave her performance all out. And its good that she made it thus far. She have truly shown that she has talent.
Nevertheless… this blog of mine, I shall post up the lyrics to the song that she had sung last…
~~~***~~~
Kerna Terpaksa - by Karen.
Kerna terpaksa, aku melangkah pergi
Kerna terpaksa, ku turut kata hati
Hancur hatiku, dengan keputusan ini
Biarpun pedih, ku teruskan jua
Di antara kita, mengapa ada dia?
Biarpun hanya, kawan biasa…
Tapi ku rasa, berlainan caranya.
Hingga mencakar, perasaanku…
Terpaksaku-terpaksaku, membuat pilihan.
Mengudurkan diri untuk, kebahgiaan mu…
Kerna terpaksa, aku rela sendiri…
Kerna terpaksa, lalu aku menangis.
Luntur hatiku, untuk bercinta lagi…
Tidak ku tahu untuk berduka
Di antara kita, mengapa ada dia?
Biarpun hanya, kawan biasa…
Tapi ku rasa, berlainan caranya
Hingga mencakar, perasaanku…
Andainya aku, melakukan begitu
Bagaimanakah perasaanmu
Terpaksaku-terpaksaku, membuat pilihan.
Mengudurkan diri untuk, kebahgiaan mu…
~~~***~~~
Well, now that’s done… time to get on with other events.
I’ve been following the Worldcup. I have my own predictions, tapi… I’m not going to say anything until one round of the event has gone by. But, what I do know, I like it so far. Regardless of the odd hours I am sleeping now.
Me and Shahril, we’re ok again. What’s a little more tests in a relationship to strengthen things. It’s to teach I guess… til the next time we have to face more problems.
My horoscope today reads…
I am keeping peace. No bad dreams. That’s good enough.
… i like today’s horoscope.
"Emotional energy is strong, but an impersonal point of view will get you farther."
I find my horoscope read in friendster is more or less quotes. Not really a prediction. I like.
Funny how I still win stuff…
…on friendster.
It says :
"You might not have everything you want right now, but you have enough. Enjoy it."
betullah tuh. Memang I don’t have everything I want right now. But I guess, the thought of being able to work on my walk is just enough for the time being. I should ENJOY the walking with crutches and wheeling with wheelchair.
Impatient. That’s what I am.
