Me, MYSeLF & i…

…and it’s splendors.

It’s now 1am and i’m still thinking.
Left pondering aboout a question that I am not able to solve. Then I
remembered what a wise man said to me; he said that to live in this
life you have to be thinking of things that is to be thought about and
dismissed those that are foolish thoughts.

But what we deem as
foolish may be something to be thought about to another person. So
again, berbekal dengan ilmu yang sungguh limited, I am what i turned
out to be…. a fool in her thoughts.

Anyways… I will share
with you something I read in this wee hours of the morning. Something
that has to do with my proffession… yes Laila, this is the thing I
was telling you about. Click here for full story.

Here’s the bits and pieces of it.. from the Malaysian Bar website.

it
says.. and I quote as to what was passed in motion in Parliament but
not yet gazzeted and was discussed in the Extraordinary General Meeting
(EGM).

the halting of these motions :
"…amended sections 76(2) and (3), which state that secrecy can be
maintained by the members of the examining board, the Bar Council, the
disciplinary board and committee and its staff." (exemption from disclosing matters in court)

"…amendment relates to section 103E(2) which states that “there shall be
no judicial review against any decision or order made by the
disciplinary board.." (meaning no appeal procedures)

"Other contested amendments include the curtailment of lawyers’ right to
be heard; breach of lawyers’ right against self-incrimination; and wide
powers given to the board to make restitution orders against lawyers."

Sigh..
I wasn’t there when they had the EGM as I didn’t know of it. Had I
known, I would’ve gone too. It’s so difficult to be the one at home and
unable to make any changes in the society.
Many would console me and say my time will come to make my own
effect… but it’s not as simple to make it out there as you all think.

The things you people think (which is most of the time false is…)
1. Lawyers make LOTS of money.
Misconception.
The chambies (fresh graduates) suffer a deal of 9 months training at a
very low income at some firms. When DO WE make money, when we are
actually the partner of the firm. Tunggulah ada "Sarah &
Associates" then we talk my BIG MONEY.

2. We have the power to make change in law matters.
As
much as I would LOVE to agree on that, we don’t really have the power.
Unless we are in numbers. Just llike the EGM on those motions mentioned
above. God knows when Parliament is gonna pass a bill that’s gonna
effect the profession’s independance (assuming we have any).

3. Lawyers are not accountable for their actions in court.
Not
really true either. See the above matter on EGM. That proves that
lawyers go through disciplinary hearings too. We could be fined,
sentenced to prison or even disbarred… for even a traffic ticket.
Serious.. I am not joking!

4. Lawyers love to defend the bad guys free.
We
DO NOT.. again repeat.. DO NOT choose our defendants. There’s ethics
issue to be discussed here… but that’ll take a long lecture. Innocent
til proven guilty. Even though the evidence is against our client, we
must do our best to defend if the client said he didn’t do it. If he
says he did it to us, we have a confidentiality thing to adhere to.
But, we DO NOT agrivate the situation of making him look innocent…
it’s the prosecution that failed to produce the evidence.

5. Lawyers defend things that are wrong, so they are that too.
Alleged
rapist, alleged drug addict, alleged murderer… lawyers that defend
them are NOT a rapist or drug addict or murderer. He/she doesn’t even
come close to being those things.. contrary to believes.

~~~***~~~

My
bloggings tonite were mainly focused on life. This is my life. My
profession that I am soon to embark and embrace. God willing my health
and my radicalness will not make me be wilther in the early lifetime of
my profession.

You think my life is simple and all love story
drama… no… it’s more complicated than that. I only write about my
love life complication in this blog i call home because I wouldn’t want
my readers to find me irritated with everything else in my life. My
love life was the only thing I wanna blog about to distract my
constantly working mind from thinking about my very uncertain future.

I’m
graduate… yet to be a lawyer. So think about my plate. It’s too full
to chew. Ini baru pasal my profession..not my everyday drama tau.

Oh
my… it’s 2:30am and I have to be up by 6am to get ready to shoot out
by 7am to go for the ever tiring rehearsal. Damn those steps. I’m so
scared… literally shaking thinking bout it. But I try not to show it.

"They think they know… but they can never tell. The secret behind this smile…"

… it’s been a while.

I don’t get why do they still act like they did nothing wrong. Sometimes it annoys me to be all smiley and nice when I know they are not really sincere being my friends. Can I even call them friends? Acquaintances is more appropriate.

Maybe, I am paranoid. Why? Because, all my life they were never there. Never made the effort. Now, all of a sudden they are trying to be good friends… and that is pretty sneaky.

Gave a little trial period to these people but my patience has run out. Frankly, I tried my best to prove my inner instinc wrong… but two days back the trial period ended. So yesterday was the end of everything. Kalau this person faham, dia akan faham…

I don’t think anything could buy my friendship… so if you want your stuff back, I’ll be glad to return them back to you. I’m not easily bought ok.

I can’t help feeling like a used item everytime I am with them. Maybe I am pms-ing… but I don’t care. What gives him or her the right to use me like that? Maybe dia tak perasan lah dia guna me… but to the used, I definitely know how it feels.

I think I am sticking to my current friends. They are enough to warm my heart. What is the use of having people who hypocritely be nice to you when they don’t find you to be of worth…? You know you’re there just to BOOST their ego. Buat apa??

So let them be in love, let them get married… let them have dinner with the lots of them; I don’t mind… but don’t blame me if I don’t answer your beck and call… I AM NOT YOUR INFORMATION COUNTER. Go take note things on your own.

I have been snubbed before by this certain someone, I’m always the last one they think about inviting when they have some things on… why should I bother..? I shouldn’t feel guilty because I’m sure they’re not guilty of leaving me or treating me as such.

I’m tired of being a hypocrite smiling person to these people. You don’t like me, be that way. Stay the hell out of my way. I don’t wanna make conversations with you and I don’t wanna be your guide. This sweet girl has enough being your b*tch…

Man, I need to get out of TTDI. It’s killing me softly having this surrounding. Suicide.

Today is my 2nd year and 10th month being with my boyfriend. We survived yet another month together but the trauma we had been going through was really painful. To a point that it hurts so bad emotionally that I have really gotten tired of even trying.

We’re patching up and we’re doing good. Still together.

But… I’m not here to chat about that now…

Let’s do a random update on me… because this is my blog

1. I have had a haircut on 17th August 2006. So far, this hair has brought eyes more than it is suppose to. Translation : attention.

What do I think of my hair? I think it’s ok. I am thankful to GOD that my hair turned out the way it did… If the wrong length and cut, I’d die of bad hairdays til the day it grows back.

Now… I have about 2 months or less to grow it back and be all ayu again for Raya… If it fails, I’m maintaining this really short hair…!!

2. Took my robe. Hell. It was HELL.

As usual.. things are so hectic in UiA. No, I am not dissing the place but I WISH they could’ve improved the way they did the whole collection of robe. I am wondering how this Friday gonna be like. I wonder if I should bring my wheelchair and fake it?? But then, I’d be hated by all.. for the "special treatment" that I am not suppose to have.

3. Watched PGLM. It’s the second season…


I loved it. Call me a fool people. Ask me why I wanna go see Tiara sings til it rains… I’m a sucker for theaters no matter who is playing. As long as it is a good
title, I go. Despite the fact he/she is controversially hated by certain people.

This time around they improved on certain things. It was so much fun. They had
an autograph/meet fans session which made everything worth the whole while!

I heard they’re going to Singapore…! I hope I can be there too.. yes, people.. I’m
a hardcore fan. I think the only reason for me not to go is if they put Siti as the Gusti Putri Adjeng Retno Dumilah… I would halt from going.

4. The most RECENT event… Snakes on a plane by Cinemaonline.

I won tickets to go watch it. Had dinner with Nadia at One Utama… just the two of us dining at a cozy corner. By the time it was time to take the tickets, we both got to GsC Ou…

It was an interesting story. But it was also too goo-y and slimy to be really enjoying. However, KUDOS to GSC OU for hosting the event. I simply LOVE GSC OU. They’re seats are wonderfully comfy!! It really felt like we were on a plane. Actually, that was how I felt EVERYTIME I go watch a movie there. I tell you, they are the best and most comfortable movie place I have been. If i had to vote, they would get a rating of 10 out of 5 stars… yup.. double rating. The movie place.. not the movie we were watching.

(Just trying to make positive out of negative things…)

5. Hmm.. I have been watching America’s Next Top Model rigourously (is that how you spell it?)

Yes.. call me bimbo people, but I’m a bimbo with a degree.. don’t play play..

Actually, my whole inspiration of having my hair cut was when one of the models had to have her hair cut REALLY short. Google up Rosemary’s Baby and check on Mia Farrow’s haircut for that movie. You would be amazed how short I had wanted it to be. But all thankx to my mom a.k.a my fashion consultant of my life, she says my face is too round for such things. SO… we talked it out with the hairstylist and got the best middle ground that I could think of.

Btw, I have my favourite in that show. I like Kim. Why? Because she is weird. I hope Lisa gets out… I know that Malaysia receive a delayed telecast of the show… but i don’t care. Gonna treat it like something new and I am NOT going to find out the winner online… DON’T ANYONE THERE TELL ME EITHER!!

6. Rehearsal 25th and Convocation 26th… Session 1

OMG. I can’t believe it’s finally here. Now, it’s already Thursday… this means less than 24 hours I have to get myself prepared for the rehearsal. And trust me… with the way the collection of robe went; I think it’s going to be a trip to HELL to do rehearsal. But I’m still happy to go!!

That’s all for now. Why am I still up, you ask? It’s past midnight and I’m not asleep…

Well, I let you in a little secret… I’m compiling a CD of photos that I want to take to a photoshop to get it print out… I wanna have a little surprise for those lecturers who has done me well. I don’t care IF you all say I’m pengampu or apple polisher; I do what I must do. I owe part of my success to them as well… the degree I am about to receive on the day of convocation is their berkat too and I am greatful ever so.

….my friend, this blog is dedicated to you.

Sri Indah Rini… a girl I have got closed to since form 4… Learned a
lot bout this seemingly quiet girl. She is Ayu as the word can be.

But never underestimate this girl… She may be quiet and sweet, but
she is one tough cookie. Whenever she feels like taking a challenge,
she will. She has climbed mountains before…gone on trips etc etc
etc.People might mistake her for a quiet girl… but they are wrong.

Tonight… (or rather yesterday) she gotten engaged to a guy whom she
had liked from high school; he liked her too back then… tapi both too
shy to tell one another. Briefly exchanged feelings late last year.

Alhamdullillah.. everything went well tonight. She was gorgeous with a lily in her hair. Tiada halangan, nikah end of this year.

Short meet. Short duration of tunang… Nikah a.s.a.p…

Too many people my batch getting engaged and tunang… I am still here with my ifs and maybes. Time will tell.

I will post up pictures & videos soon…. She is gorgeous!

I pray for your happiness always my friend. Bahagia ke anak cucu… ~amin~

…almost everyone knows the
story. It’s a classic. Young Romeo of Montigue meets the fair lady
Juliet of Capulet at a ball hosted by the Capulets.

After being
secretly married by the Friar…, young Romeo couldn’t stop a brawl
between his friend and fair lady Juliet’s cousin. The peace he had
hoped for turned into murderous shootings….

Romeo banished…. Juliet now faces the world alone without her Romeo.

She
bakes a plan to make herself appear dead so that her young Romeo is
able to meet her and whisk her away in his banished world. The person
who bares message of the plan didn’t send the message to young Romeo.

Romeo,
heartbroken does a foolish thing. He took real poison and killed
himself on Juliet’s stone. Juliet, waking up after a deep deathly look
sleep finds her Romeo with a bottle of poison… Devastated, she kill
herself with a shot of the gun Romeo brought with him…

My favourite literature from Shakespeare. Because, in any relationship I have… this has always been the problem. Cinta terhalang.

Nothing
is easy, people say. No pain, no gain… but, how much harder is it
suppose to be for me? He is banished from meeting with his Juliet. I
don’t think there’s anything there if her Romeo won’t even follow by
her plans for awhile…

It’s easy to quote fairytales… but reality, everything is waiting its timely death.

Ya Allah.. sakitnya. I’m going back to bed after this.