Me, MYSeLF & i…

The day I found out that Boyz II Men was going to perform in Malaysia, I was excited.

But… knowing that they were performing @Genting, it created a frown and a pinch of sorrowness in my mood. You can say it had definitely dented my mood when I knew they were coming here to perform - and the odds of me going to witness that event, was slim to none.

Not a day gone by that I felt depressed about it. The only positive thing I kept thinking was that IF there was a chance, I’d watch some other concerts this year, as long as it is not done in Genting.

Genting is a place very much forbidden and taboo in my family. There’s a little family history that had made my mother a little protective over me going to Genting.

Believe me, I don’t blame her. IN fact, I understand clearly why she would say no to me to go Genting. It didn’t happen in our family… but in an immediate family. Genting is a highland that is taboo in my family… just because of what had happened.

So… days went by. I even saw Thursday Nite Live on NTV7. I was really becoming more and more bummed out. I don’t even know if there were still tickets if I wanted to go. But my girlfriends have booked their tickets and had paid for them too. They planned to stay overnight in Genting whilst enjoying the really cold and cool weather up in Genting.

Yes… I was pretty bummed out. But having such understanding friends, they didn’t speak much of the trip to Genting to watch Boyz II Men. I have VERY considerate girlfriends. I love them to bits!

Anyways, the day came. Saturday, 27th January 2007. That was the day my girlfriends decided to go.

On my side, early in the morning I had some lessons to go to…

Due to the very heaty weather, I decided to go to Genting anyways. I plotted with Shahril to go up to Genting. Tried my luck… and he said ok.

My initial plan was to cool off from the VERY heaty weather. It was so heaty that I could feel the heat creeping into my skin. I have very sensitive skin and my "SLE" situation might just flare if I don’t take the necessary precautions.

So… we went up to Genting. To date, I ALWAYS tell my mom where I go. Just to get her consent. But, if I don’t tell her that instant, I’d tell her later… and this Genting trip I was going to tell her after my birthday. She’s such an understanding concerned mother that I think it’s only fair that in some event I take matters to my own hands… which means I don’t tell her where I go, but delay to another date.

"Dah jadi, nak marah macam mana?" (God.. if I have kids, they’re gonna be me!)

The plan was to walk around in Genting. Cool off whilst having coffee at Coffee Bean Genting. We parked at First World (which by the way, I ter-nampak orang making out in the car.. oopss.. sorry potong your "steam".) After the coffee, we’d head back down by 8pm, the very least.

Then, I changed my plans a bit. I was not hoping, but if it was there, and Shahril was ok with it, we’d buy tickets to watch Boyz II Men. But first, we had to find "Arena of Stars" area.

All the time Shahril was up there, he was an angel. This is one memory of 2007 that will embed in my mind. This is one of many efforts I know he is trying to prove. Which is good. He is trying.

Anyways… we head out to find Arena of Stars. The concert starts at 8pm. We were there since 5pm. By the time we reached Arena of Stars was about 6pm. It was easy finding the "Box Office" of Arena of Stars.

I looked at Shahril, he said, "might as well try.."

I said…"kalau ada ticket? good time nak turun? how??"

Shahril, "we go.."

Turns out there were STILL tickets. The show ends 10 to 10.30pm or so. Just nice for us to head back down to KL. I wanted to get the RM70 tickets… but he insisted in getting the RM110 tickets.

I never dreamed to have able to get up to Genting. I had cried and was very depressed over not going to watch Boyz II Men. Silly really… but I really wanted to go.

For the record - mom never said no to going to the concert, even tho I told her there was a Boyz II Men concert.

I enjoyed myself. Screaming, smiling, singing, laughing and was also in tears when they sang they’re famous track "Mama".

I saw lots of celebrities up there too. AC Mizal and wife & Sarimah and husband.

I saw my girlfriends too… ouh and I saw Didi & Ash. A bunch of ttdi kids too.

Shahril definitely enjoyed himself. I enjoyed it as much too…

Came back down to KL. And mom knew that I had gone to Boyz II Men concert at Genting. She was not angry. Phew. Mothers… they will always know if you’re up to something!

Had a good catching up session with an old senior schoolmate, Zul. It turns out he loves Boyz II Men too. Sorry Zul, went there on a purely impromptu plans. We were honestly going to come back down by the time the sun sets… so that it’s much more cooling in KL.

Mum was ok when I went back. This was one event that I am thankful to God that I am not crying of anything sad. Well, I was in tears… but that was for the song "Mama"; which wholeheartedly I dedicate to the ONE and ONLY Queen of my heart, my mother!

I won’t blog to say things are getting better with my life… because it is not really that great. But this event gave me hope that it’s just raining… the rain will have to stop eventually. Something like in Johore & its rain - floods.

Conversation snip from my girlfriend on the phone :

F : what you doing in Arena of Stars?
Me : What do you think I’m doing?
F : Watching Boyz II Men?
Me : Yes.. (giggling)
F : Does your mom know?
Me : No…
F : Can I tell? Can I tell? Can I tell?
Me : No waaaaaaay!

But well.. my mom knows anyways now. hihi….


It was a SUPERB show. I’m still in that mode of not believing I went
to watch Boyz II Men live at Arena of Stars, Genting.

Alhamdullillah. Selamat naik… selamat turun. *winks*

Hello everyone… it’s time for Sarah’s gibberish nonsense!

Which do you prefer?

Being lost or being found?

No… really, think about that for a second and apply it in any situation you like.

Would it be better to be lost?
After all, when you’re lost, there’s a hope that you wanna be found. It’s from a negative feeling towards a positive outcome. Or are you really comfortable at being lost that it is bad to be found? (Have i lost you yet?? hihi..)

Or.. are you rather be found?

Think about it. If you’re found, you stop your search. Because you’re found. It’s static and you’re so comfortable at being found that you forgot how it was at being lost.

Being found makes you take things for granted. Being comfortable at being found makes you don’t want to ever get lost ever again.

You see, i think it’s better to be lost.

When you’re lost, you have the need and want to be found. You’ll work hard to find and stop being so lost.

But… when you’re found, you don’t work as hard to make sure you stay found. You just become static and somehow and eventually get lost again.

Where am I?

I am LOST.

tonight… there were two competitions that got my attention.

Anugerah Juara Lagu… & Arsenal v Manchester United

Well…
it’s pretty obvious that I’m bias. I like Zahid. I don’t care what
others say. Yes, Uncle Ilyas can say all that.. but I still love going
to Pondok. They serve the best… air? (Malay and English applies)

Layanan
mesra all the way. I like staying at Pondok. The place is "somewhere I
belong" after a long hard day or tiring day… or just when I want to
Santai…

All the way when Zahid was singing Warkah Buat Laila,
Uncle Il kutuk… dari scarf to his baju and the tune of his song.
Mengantuk laa.. tak kena laa… bukan snowing laa… Berbuih suda mulut
ini mengatakan yang itu kostume for Arabic concept and that it’s for an
Afghan-movie thing…

Dia tak peduli… but i don’t mind either.

When the names were announced, Adibah Noor won three categories…

1.  Best Vocalist. (Can anyone ACTUALLY beat her voice??)
2.  Best Balada… (Seriously, no one was as good that night!)
3.  Juara LAGU!!

Congratulations Adibah Noor… YOU really deserve the awards!!
(Haniff…
tolong bagitahu Kak Adibah ya, the next time you see her! She came to
Coffee Hut two days ago wearing blue.. aiyaa.. I wanted to tegur, but
me shy…)

Anyways… when Irama Malaysia/Ethnic Creative was announced… I was soooooooooooo happy!!

WHY? Isn’t it obvious? Zahid WON!

I was soooooooooooooooooo ecstatic over his win. A lil gigglish laa jugak..

Aiyaa… I thought that Zahid-titis had gone. I STILL like him a lot. dang.

~~~***~~~

Manchester lost 2-1

Nothing
much to it. I kinda knew Arsenal would win this season against
Manchester. Theory? Last season we won both games, away and home,
against Arsenal. This season,  Manchester is on the top of the table…
they are loosing on purpose and allowing Arsenal to gain their pride…

ouh..
my dad has another theory.. if Arsenal kalah, Manchester menang,
there’s no reason to have bookies dah… Manchester confirm menang the
season..

Somehow, I like my theory better… but then, i memang perasan. No need to comment there!

Congrats
to Arsenal… fair game and a good one too. I like Henry’s score…
altho, that’s the score that got Arsenal to win. Kudos to Henry… he
has not lost his touch.

As my title state…

you win some (Zahid)… you loose some (Manchester).

BUT… Manchester is still 6 points above Chelsea… so tidak apa laa…

Madihah & Nabil’s Wedding Reception.

Everyone looked stunning and beautiful… an event that marks another 5 Melati-an married this year.

25… that’s the purata age girls getting married nowadays.

Ouh.. how old am I?? I’m 21.

Congratulations to Madihah and Nabil… pasangan ideal "pretty-in-pink".

Semoga berkekalan sehingga ke anak cucu cicit..

*winks*

"Pabila sudah bersanding… janganlah asyik menjeling…"

…hungry.

…tired.

…sedih sikit. (okay that’s a lie, a lot)

…amused.

…amazed.

…a lil angry.

…confused.

…feeling like I’m gonna shout.

…just plain negative.

…my DG Man!

Two nights ago, my man came by. He just started his job @ DG Center in Shah Alam. It’s great to know he is working in the place he has always wanted to. It’s like an aimed place to work at IF you work in the customer service industry. They have perks and good treatment to their staffs.

As I was saying, he came by. Bringing me a gift. It was that "DiGi" yellow people. It’s suppose to be hung on the antenna of a car… but, I’m carrying it around…

Hence, being…

"I will follow you… follow you wherever you may go."

hihi….

~~~***~~~~

I think I’m too sensitive. It’s only words, and words are all people have to make me feel the pain. Maybe I am too sensitive.

Maybe people are just too ignorant? Maybe I’m too lenient..?

I’ve always have had this problem, I’ve been too nice. When I’m angry or say something to stop people from what they are saying, because it hurts me hearing them, the people i tried to stop might take it a little personal.

I don’t do name calls, but yet, my sentences feel like namecalls?

I don’t like it. It’s annoying. It’s not funny.

These are sentences that shows I’m angry… and usually ends up with the other side saying like, "ouh ok… didn’t know you felt that strongly about it." Or some other sarcastic remarks to kenakan my blunt statement.

OMG. It’s 2pm. Heading out now. Need to go KL. Ada talk *yawn* to go to…

Cerita ini tiada berkaitan yang hidup maupun yang sudah meninggal dunia. Semua karaktor adalah rekaan semata-mata… *winks*

A - Gadis yang keluar dengan B
B - Lelaki yang boleh dikatakan ikon dan famos
C - Kawan baik B (sama famos)
D & E - Peminat-peminat B dan C

Lokasi : Di sebuah dewan perkahwinan di Pusat Bandar.

D kepada E : Waaa… ko tengok tuh. Ramai betul orang-orang famos malam nih… kan aku dah kata dah. Mesti ramai punyalah. Nasib baik aku bawak kamera!
E kepada D : Ye lah. Nasib baik ko ajak aku! Ehh.. tu diaorang (sambil menunjuk kepada B dan C..)
D : A’ah laa.. Ehhh… sapa B bawa dengan dia tuh? Dia tengah seeing someone ke?
E : Setahu aku, tak de pulak… tak de pulak aku miss rancangan gosip tengahhari tuh… tak pe. Bukan famos kot.. Nanti kita bawak kamera ko tuh, tangkap gambar dengan B dan C… Boleh kita curi-curi pandang sapa dia.
D : Bagus idea ko tuh. Ehh… kena duduk aahh… kang bila ok sikit ko ikut tau. Jangan pulak ko back down!
E : Ye yee… aku ikut. Bila masa aku tak ikut??

*pada masa yang sesuai…*

D : Hai C… boleh kami tangkap gambar dengan you?
C : Ok je…
(posing-posing sikit…)
C : Eh.. tak nak tangkap dengan B ke? B.. maih laa..

(posing-posing lagi)

E : Thank you laa ye. (Senyuman yang lebar…)

*di tempat duduk*

D : Ko perasan tak si A? Ko kenal ke?
E : Tak kenal laa.. memang bukan famos. Eii.. macam tak best je.
D : Tu laa.. aku pun dok takut nak suruh B tangkap gambar dengan kita.
E : Sama laa… aku pun dok risau nak tangkap gambar dengan B. Ehh.. siapa aa dia tuh? Nampak tak, dia terpandang-pandanh tempat lain??
D : Tu laa… Mungkin dia rimas kot kita main tangkap-tangkap gambar nih. Mengganggu dia bergurau senda dengan B…
E : Mungkinlaa.. tapi, tak peduli, aku dapat tangkap gambar dengan C! Dia datang solo kan??
D : Mmhmm… kamera tuh kamera aku tau..
E : Ye laa.. ye laa..  thank you

~~~***~~~

Inilah cerita singkat sebuah perkahwinan yang direka… Ingatkan nak cuba jadi kreatif dalam penulisan fiktional. Apa macam? Ada line tak? hihiii…

Apa-apa pun… inilah realiti kehidupan. Pandangan orang-orang terhadap orang lain berbeza. Rambut sama hitam, tapi.. hati tuh lain-lain. Depan cakap lain, belakang kata lain…

Cepat je orang kata macam-macam, pikir bukan-bukan tanpa betul-betul siasat atau bercakap dengan orang itu. Makin ramai orang judge a book from its cover.

Biasalahkan…

The weekend wasn’t that much of a dissapointment as I had anticipated. Friday had kicked off with a KLBAR get-together & (unexpected) Farewell dinner for Tan Sri Dato’ Siti Normah (Chief Judge).

Although, before the dinner, it was a little annoying. Lets just say that work got into the way. Things that was not my responsibility, became mine somehow. Not complaining… but I don’t do well with very last minute jobs.

Then, there was that Saturday morning. Was suppose to work early b (9.30am) but… well, lets just say I didn’t come in that late. Due to the late start, it was a late ending juga. Which, to my dissapointment, had made my friend waiting for me downstairs.

After that, we both went to Shah Alam. OMG. well… lets just leave it at OMG.

Kudos to SACC mall tho. (Civilization… without the movie theaters tho…)

Had a little rough patch with m guy. Sorted out, but… due to our little squabble, I had followed my heart and spent on depositing a painting I don’t know when I’ll ever hang it. It’s the one of its kind; or so what I’ve been told.

A Sleeping Beauty painting. A Disney.

My collectors item. That had actually made me feel better afterwards.

TODAY -  had my hair CUT!!

Then, went to OU… had sushi. Gotten myself to go to Coffee Hut later and met up with Ha at about 10.45pm. She’s leaving for Manchester soon. I’m going to miss that girl. She’s such a joy to hang out with. I guess the tea session has to wait, Ha.

Now… what couldn’t get any better than this, you ask?

The cold wind and strong rain whilst having Strawberry Tea at Coffee Hut. IT was heavenly. Very much like a real kampung feel, with a classy twist. I like.

Now, that was the closing of my weekend. How was yours?

This is a song by Avant feat Nicole Scherzinger (Pussycat Dolls).

I’m a little hook on this song.

Whenever I hear the song, I listen to the lyrics before I search for the original lyrics online. Making it easier for me to sing it on my own if I hear it over & over to listen to the lyrics of this song.

I don’t think I like the song… the meaning of this song. But the tune is something I can hum to when I am angry (example today at Santai… the sound you heard was me humming to this song.)

It’s like when you wake up one morning, and you realize that you’re in love with another woman. You continue to fake your love to the one you’ve pledged your love to all this while. You ask the other to wait til you break it to her that you are in love with someone else.

Sometimes, in our days being any kind of relationship, we tend to take things for granted. The love that we thought we had, the touch that we thought was ours… the feeling that we hope to last for us.

As I listen to this song over and over (a part of it I had made into my sms tone); I find that I’m actually scared. What if one fine day, I turn to be that girl that this Avant guy dump and/or cheat? What if it goes beyond that? What if I was actually married, things happened behind closed doors and maintain to be stupidly fooled??

Not that I have any reason to be suspicious… but I’m a girl (pms-ing lagi tuh).

My life has always been the songs that plays in my head… and at this moment, this song is playing in my mind.

Lets just say, Hinder-Lips of an Angel, was something I discovered playing on Flyfm, the same time the situation of that lyric was playing. And honest to God, I wasn’t trying to be melayan the situation, but it happened.

Smile from Lily Allen was another song that had played a vital roll in my life too.

Hips Don’t Lie… I was having my hips replaced (the song started to air at the end of April, beginning of May.)

Now, i’m constantly listening to this song. Avant - Lie about US.

Hmmm…? Time will tell, kan?

Take note.. that this girl, name - Sarah Kambali, has FINALLY filed in her papers in RKKK and served to both Bar Council M’sia and KLBAR (AG soon… as I was needed back in office to search for cases).

Yes. To those who reads my blogs and understands law terms and all the jargon words in law dictionary.. (even chambering is a little too big for laymen to understand. Easier for them to equate it to practising.. sheesh), I have filed in my Borang 1 & 2 and served them!! Today! 8th of January 2007 bersamaan dengan 18th Zulhijjah 1427.

I was all set to go RKKK in the morning when the unexpected happened, I misplaced my office keys. I wanted to leave some documents back in the office so that my colleague can post it and/or fax it out ASAP. I needed the key badly.

Retraced my steps, and called Shahril to help me check in his mom’s car. Nak jadi cerita, his mom was out… aiyaa… I got more and more panic over a bunch of keys! Sigh.

Finally, at 7 minutes before 9am, Shahril called and described the bunch of keys to me. I breathe a sigh of relief. It was found. By 9.20am, we (mom & dad) went to the office to help me drop the documents off.

We head out to KL by 9.40am. Met up with Khairie and it was a plesant surprised. He was also filing his papers today! Hooray… a familiar face.

For those who are not familiar with the system, in order to be a full pledge lawyer, you have to undergo 9 months of pupilship with a master of 7 years experience (proved by his annual Practising Certificate) this is called Chambering. The 9 months of being a pupil is called Chambering. It’s NOT a practicl period. So stop saying it’s the same. If it was practical period, they wouldn’t have named it Chambering would they? And the whole bloody graduates can be lawyers if they call everyone that’s doing their practical after the expiration of term practical period.

So stop calling it practical. It’s CHAMBERING. Get that in your thick head, ok!

Anyways, after filing and paid the necessary fees, I went to Bar Council and KLBAR. Both on my feet. (They are a little sore now.. hihi.. )

After all’s done, I went to Burger King to grab a bite whilst waiting for my mom to come by from Jalan TAR. She was walking too. Dad was at Kampung Baru. Susah sikit if my mum nak tunggu. So, she followed dad’s suggestion and walked.

Alhamdullillah. Everything went well. No halangan this time around.

Mr M was still there when I was filing my papers. Although he didn’t handle my papers, he was still there. It was great to see him. Such an inspiration.

One thing that got me to laugh was when I came in the room and he saw me… he said, "God Bless you." and he smiled.

I smiled too. "it’s misguided loyalty… but all good" he said some more.

3 months had gone by so fast. Last September 2006, I had came to file in my papers. But, it was not to happen. Why? My master’s practising certificate was not yet 7 years. I was taken aback and was facing a tough decision as to whether to stay or go… then, i decided to continue on without any change as to masters.

I had waited for 3 months to get my papers file and officially be my master’s first ever pupil in his lifetime. Mr M back then had commended me for my patience. Hence the little statement he made when he met me today.

As I told myself before, I don’t care of people feel sorry that I havent started chambering and I don’t even care if they call me foolish for waiting that long to get my papers filed… what I know is that I’m going to stick by my decision and have a good time learning the ropes before I become a Chambering student!

So… honestly, it is not a waste. Although it takes way longer than most people to obtain that title of a full lawyer, I believe this is the only way for me. Slow and steady. One day, I will get there. Insya-Allah.

I believe in a system and fate that Allah has created for everyone, Muslim or Non-Muslims… and this is my path. I serve Him and continue to do so until He says I am to return to Him.

This is my fate… and it is a choice I’ve accepted after much weighing of thoughts.

I didn’t ask to be sick, but I am.
I didn’t ask to be so loyal to a person who is not yet fully qualified to be a master, but I accept him.
I didn’t ask to find love with a guy next door to me (literally), but he found me.

Choices are there, limited but there. But when you’ve made decision towards something, my prinsipal is not to let go or turn back.

I choose to be positive and alive despite my condition… when I could have always lied in bed and find everything bad my condition (which is A LOT!!)
I choose to wait for my pupilage… when I could have always find another firm.
I choose to be with him… when I could have always declined.

Today, I’ve learned that I am stronger than what people might think of me when I put my will and heart to it.

Congratulations to Khairie and all that filed in their papers today. May all who have helped me with my filing be blessed with happiness and wealth in their lifetime.

Oh yeah.. God, help me in this 9 months, yeah? You’re the only ONE who could help me… I hope you lend me your will to go through everything.

Amin.