Me, MYSeLF & i…

I never thought I’d be going to an F1 event. After all, I’m a person who would rather watch football on the field than F1.

But, apparently, according to my mum I have always wanted to go for F1 races at Sepang. She told my boyfriend (when he brought me home safely) "Sampai hajat Sarah…"

I didn’t understand it at first, but now I do.

Not many knew that I went for F1 race in Sepang. It’s not that I don’t want to blab… but I’m trying to keep a reserved self until and unless someone ask me, "hey how’s your weekend…" Then again, I won’t really tell that person what happened on Sunday because I just don’t feel like sharing with anyone.

Things has been good so far by keeping things to myself. Too much of revealing things to another makes my life like an open book. Of course, the casual listening-shoulder/ear is needed once in awhile… but not all the time.

Life becomes dull when everything is shared around. I guess, I’m trying to find my strength again. I lost it somewhere last year and started to reveal everything to everyone around. I became to dependent that I forgot to keep things to myself. It builds a sorry image of myself. A very sorry-negative image in fact.

I’m trying to be more independent. I’ve managed to keep-mum about the whole F1 event… until today (whereby I am blogging right now). Only few who are close to me, I’d blurt it out. Itupun, tengok tempat… if it’s right, I’ll let them know.

Back to the main title…

F1.

As everyone know by now, McLaren Merc had taken the two above spots in the finals - Fernando Alonso and Lewis Hamilton. 1st and 2nd places respectively.

The journey to F1 was an experience. It was a first time for both. At first, I wasn’t really that keen on going, but… when I let the idea sink in, I felt "teruja" with the fact that I was going to an F1 race in Sepang. Not many would want to go… but, i honestly did wanna try out the experience. It would be something I share with my boyfriend for a long time.

This would be my second mark of the year with him. First was Genting-Boyz II Men concert. I’m still smiling at the fact he had taken me up to Genting and agreed on the impromptu plan of going to the concert. And now I am smiling even wider to the fact that he had taken the trouble to take me to F1 Litar Sepang!

When I was younger, I thought I’d be going to these things with my ex… Back then, he was an F1 freak, and honestly, I think I’d enjoy it going to races with him. Year after year, it never happened.

Never did I figured that life would allow me to enjoy the race with this guy… Shahril Nizam Abd Karim. It was a rather wonderful surprise.

Ouh well, I think the race was rush of experience. Thank you for thinking of me and bring me there!

Muahss.. Love you sayang.

Smile though your heart is aching;
Smile even though it’s breaking.
When there are clouds in the sky, you’ll get by. 
If you smile through your fear and sorrow,
Smile and maybe tomorrow,
you’ll see the sun come shining through for you.

Light up your face with gladness,
hide every trace of sadness.
Although a tear may be ever so near,
that’s the time you must keep on trying,
Smile, what’s the use of crying? 

You’ll find that life is still worthwhile… If you just smile.

That’s the time you must keep on trying,
Smile, what’s the use of crying?

You’ll find that life is still worthwhile.. If you just smile.

~~~***~~~

I was fiddling through the television tonight. Then, I came across a repeat of American Idol. She was singing "Smile" music by Charlie Chaplin.

The lyrics feels rather soothing to me.

Although, I do smile… I forget why I do.

This song reminds me why. Through the pain, sorrow and sadness… the tribulations and the heartaches… and the joy and happiness… I smile.

Smile… what’s the use of crying? Just smile.

Today was physiotheraphy. I
did the whole yard today… with both legs. Something about Nahiz that
had made me wanting to do the exercises without being whiny of pain or
tired.

He’s not cute. Neither is he very articulate. But he tries and makes
his job fun. Very persuasive. At first, I didn’t want to do the
bicycle… but then, he said, "ala.. boleh ah.. 5 minute je". Macam tu
je he pujuk me and I said ok. The 5 minutes turned to be 10mins.

When I was lying on the bed doing the leg exercises… I was playing my
sister’s sudoku book. He came by and said, "Main Sudoku ye?" I said
yes. He was interested to know how to play. He tried to learn… but
with other patients there, his lessons were half way through.
Nevermind, there’s next 20th April 2007 for physio and sudoku lessons.

I think my physiotheraphy sessions are best when I have people like
Nahiz and Azrul to make me feel smiley. Tadi, I saw Azrul when I was
waiting for my turn… He was a pack of physiotherapist who are
probably his workmates. He actually pusing and talked to me for a bit.
The geng had to wait for him. I have to admit that had made me smile
for a bit to.

I so wanted to gossip this with my friend Fatiha like we always do when
I am at physio… just talk or sms her when I’m in that session…
cause I know she would layan my karenah at that time… but then I
remembered that she was at Manchester. DANG!

But great minds do think alike! She had emailed me and when I was at the office I saw her mail. I was happy to hear from her.

I was even MORE happier when she called up. We ended up talking for
hours… I had actually gotten some miss calls in my phone and my other
phone. Honestly, I tak perasan there was an incoming call.

Truly been a great time chatting with you, Ha. I’ll try to call you the next round.

Talk about a psycho friend I am. hehe… til the next time we chat girl.