Me, MYSeLF & i…

Today, whilst blasting the songs through the pc speakers at the office, I blog about my mother.

My mother… is now 54 years young. She doesn’t like to admit her age. But, she has to face the fact… but she’s still young to me.

My mother… she screams at me for the utmost ridiculous things. Surprises me with her decisions at most of the time…

My mother… has the sweetest smile you can ever see. Through her smile is a very burdened lady who stays strong every waking moment of her life. There’s not a day when she feels like breaking down… but she stays on strong and steady in the family.

My mother… the nurturer, caretaker, the forever-there-if-something-goes-wrong… She loves unconditionally, she loves all her life to her family. For better and all the worst.

My mother… she’s big size, and she complains about it. But to me, she’s beautiful. The most beautiful lady there is to be in my life. The being who gave me life by sacrificing her life.

My mother… smiles through all the tomahan that our family goes through. The rain and thunder and all the dark clouds… everything she goes through.

My mother… I don’t think I can ever be her. To fill in her shoes would be difficult. I don’t know if my kids-to-be in the future will ever be as lucky as I am to have a lady just like my mother.

My mother… I love you, though I don’t say it often.

I’m sorry for being a rebellious kid. Sorry for causing you hurt, pain and grief all those 25 years and counting of my life… Thank you for taking care of me. Thank you for believing in me when others don’t. Thank you for being my eyes, my ears, my everything.

I can’t imagine my life being with some other mother than you.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM.

It’s early in the morning. Maybe the lack of sleep made me a little edgy… but this one is seeing to have one coming. I am so geram. I can’t even figure out what’s geram in English right now because I wanna blog out my feelings.

Not
blaming anyone for my sleeping late… my body and mind is very very
insomniac-ish… I sleep about 2 hours, then I’ll be up the whole
night. What I do varies from chatting, browsing the internet, "asah"
kaki (my feet are very dry…) and also cleaning the room.

Yesterday, I had a great time receiving songs from my darling friend. I honestly love her collection of songs. They are songs melayan jiwa…
sometimes I wished that I have those collections in the first place.
THAT is WHY I love downloading songs for people. I get to listen to
songs that are not normally heard in FLyfm or Mixfm or Hitzfm… I love
Flyfm to bits… but the songs I hear are all commercialized songs… I
wanna break loose tapi, dunno how.

So, I download songs for my darling friend… who tak tahu I enjoy gils her selection of songs. I wuv you.

Anyways.. I’m just stalling from saying what I wanna say here… Let me see… where was I…

Ouh
ya… I slept late, at about 4am. Itu pun I can’t sleep. Thankx to my
mom, who let me sleep at 8pm til 10pm. Totally made my brain awake
lepas tu..

I came to the office at about 9.30pm… I thought I
was late already, but it turned out that I was still early. WHY EARLY??
Because the mother-of-two-boys-secretary is not here yet!!

She
came in at cloe to 10am. I didn’t scream… but it annoys the hell out
of me that she’s acting like nothing happened. She didn’t acknowledge
the fact that she was late. In fact, she continued to do her work and
just shared laughter with me about a typo letter from the other side
lawyer for accident case.

Here I am, trying not to show
interest, photocopying the hire-purchase documents (which mind you is
HER job in the first place), she continuously annoys me by not doing
anything to rectify her tardiness!

So… I schemed a bit in my
mind. Quickly I had devised a way to tell her that I was annoyed with
her coming late. Since she ALWAYS bringing about her sons doing
something that made her late… or being sick all the time before she
came, I used my mother.

I said,
"Tadi my mom ikut I naik..
dia ingatkan I dah lambat pergi kerja. Then, she was surprised that at
9:30pm the office tak bukak pun. Dia tanya what time Mala masuk… I
kata ntahlaa.. kekadang 9.30, sometimes 9.45am. My mom tak suka I
datang sorang-sorang kat office. Dia risau… dah lah the clinic kat
sebelah tu kena rob haritu"

She did her "ye.." and "hmm" and "lepas tu" in between of my conversation. But, I know she terasa with what I said.

You
know… if this goes on, I don’t think I wanna work here. I’ve come to
love my boss again although he can be a pain sometimes. But, seeing
this mother-of-two-boys-secretary, I tak selera nak kerja.

It’s
true what my mom said, you can’t have everything that you want in
life… that includes working. Tapikan… is it too much to ask the
secretary to understand her position and NOT take advantage of me being
nearer to the office??

I know I’m whining… tapi, kalau tak
disebabkan my boss will call me if a client calls him to mengadu that
no one at the office to pick up calls, I tak buat my whining.

IF
I have an office, I’ll do the one thing my boss don’t do… have a
clock punch card! OR some canggih electronic device to get people tardy
in trouble! Eiiiiiiiii… I’m VERY annoyed.

Happy Mother’s Day… to all Mothers out there! And also to mothers-to-be…

I don’t seem to be able to run away from blogging in here eh? Soon,
there will be a serious issue to be blog about - Child Abuse.

But as for now, let me just enlighten some of my readers of what had happened duration of my disappearance.

FLASHBACKS….
THURSDAY 10th May 2007 - Marks the day I got my driving license! I’m so
happy to have finally gotten the license… eventho it took me to be 25
to get it. YES.. I’m 25, and I finally got my license. What’s your
excuse? Hihi…

There was one time when I was 18, my boyfriend back then had teased how
much he would want a "dulang" of my license. If not, he won’t marry me.
Well, I’ve gotten my license but, I’m NOT marrying him pun… (I don’t
like the fact I was pushed to get my license… I want to do it when I
feel like it).

I felt like getting my license this year… quarter a century gal on
quest to get her license. She got it… now, I wanna try win that
Digi-topup-Flyfm-VivaPerodua contest. Yellow lagi tu… PRay I get it
ya?

FRIDAY 11-5-2007… went out with Juan and his girl. It was something
planned between myself and Ina. We went and watched Spider-man. I’m not
too happy the fact that Harry had to go. He was the hero as far as I am
concerned… after all, he has the sweetest smile. His lost of memory
made him even cuter.

Had late night drinks with the couple at Pondok. Juan kept on ranting
on from the cinema to Pondok on how the movie is a rip-off from the
original comics… but then again, that’s how they are in adaptation of
comics or novels. I’m not surprised actually.

I’m beginning to like having double dates. Call me old fashion, but
double dates are great. Lagi-lagi the fact that I like being with
unmarried couples and just have fun. Insya-Allah, next time we will
make an effort to go to Ampang or something la…

Then, Saturday 12-5-07, I had attended that talk on Child Abuse. I will
pause here and think of all those children who have been abused
physically, emotionally, mentally and sexually. The lengths of cruelty
towards children are endless… and there’s not many who knows about it
too. In fact, if anyone had known, they would at least pay a visit to
the home that helps this cause out. P.S.thechildren. That’s the name of
the association.

MOTHER’S DAY!! Sunday.

I had a great time planning this day to come. A lovely chocolate cake
from Aunty Afzan (Megat’s Mom…) with a couple of free cupcakes baked
with love by Aunty and Azalia.

The cake’s pick-up time was supposed to be on Sunday morning with
Shahril. Somehow… my boyfriend was tired out due to late night shift
and also the running around the day before in-search of AWAM at PJ (My
legal aid services… I got what I wanted, ALHAMDULLILLAH!).

So, I grabbed the next wide-eyed available person to drive - my dad.

We went to get breakfast - 7 nasi lemaks (two for everyone except
myself only one) and gotten the cake. Mom had no idea that there was
such cake. Kept it really under wraps as a surprise. She was utterly
happy and surprised of it too.

Then… we went to KL and shopped for clothes. Dinner was great too…
we went to Marche, The Curve. There was a buffet especially for
mothers. And my mother was lucky enough to receive a mother’s day
door-gift. Came home 10 minutes to 10pm. Just in time to watch the
game. Though MU lost, but the closing ceremony was an event NOT to be
missed by those who are MANCHESTER UNITED supporter like myself.

Somehow, everyone in the team was so bright and shining!

Ok ok… enough of football. Back to Mother’s Day celebration. I’m
happy to say that my plans to create that smile on my mother’s face had
happened. My mother got a REALLY wickedly cool inai job from my sister.
Lawa dan sungguh halus rekaan my sister this time around. Very very
full on the palm and back of the hand. I’m amazed at her tekun-ness (no
such word, I know).

Is this blog a point of me retracting the shut-down? Time will tell.

Happy Labour Day.

How did I spend my Labour Day? Gracefully. I woke up late. I had my fight with the pillow. I won of course. Had my breakfast and lunch… and continued to laze around.

Everyone who asked me what I’ll be doing for the next two days (yesterday and today), I’d say go to sleep. In all honesty, I had not planned to go anywhere.

I was on the computer though. Editing photos. Updating blogs. I was also re-typing sms from Shahril. A habit that I tried to kill, but failed in doing so. My fingers wouldn’t follow my brain’s command to delete everything in that sms folder. It’s relaxing though… re-reading sms from him. Joy, anger and sadness… all felt. Foolishness too, when the sms is right.

Had a little chat with this person. I’ve not met up with him for such a long time. There was so many things in between that it was impossible to meet up or chat. Not to mention that "thing" that annoys the hell out of me.

But we got to chatting yesterday. Shared some songs. Some information. I guess, no matter what, I can’t be angry with anyone. TOO NICE. Period.

He suggested we meet up with him and a couple of his friends. I had said that I can’t make any promises. It all depends on my transportation and my boyfriend. If he does not feel like going to One-Utama, due to the crowds OR if he feels that he has other errands to do… I’d have to follow his wishes. Lately, Shahril has been supportive that even when I have things that I don’t feel happy about, I’d get to talk it out with him. I’d rather not jinx this situation, but I am in comfort zone once more.

So we did meet up. The real time was 7pm. But then, I went late because my adorable cousin, whom I miss ever so dearly, was actually at home. I even thought of NOT going to One-Utama due to the fact that I was late.

Punctuality. Something I try to keep adhere to. Shahril pun sama. He doesn’t like to keep people waiting. He’s most of the time punctual.

When we arrived there, my friend JUST arrived as well. So much for 7pm. He tried to redeem himself by saying 7-ish. AND not to mention blaming on his girlfriend for being late. Alaa… come on. That’s low.

Anyways, we met. We talked and we talk somemore after Chillis. We went to Coffee Hut. We had a great time playing UNO. It was nice to mingle again.

Gosh. I feel old. eheh.. tetibe pulak. But I do.

Thankx for the goodtimes. (Shahril - photographer)