Enough already…
Taking a break from the mass media - with freedom of speech - and trying to focus on own well being for the moment. Call me selfish, but I had enough. Too much anger and frustration is stressful… and being stressed out about situations that is slow at change (if it does change) is not a good thing at the moment. My whole balance and trying to get-well is striving and hanging in the balance of NOT being stress.
Now… if only I can stop myself from opening/reading stories about BAR Malaysia and all the other rallies. Self-discipline to betterment. Gosh.. it’s not as easy you know. The news is everywhere… you can’t really brush off things that’s thrown to your face. Well, you can… but I can’t. Sigh. I have to. Arrggghh… even that is creating stress. Maybe I should just read and try to control my frustrations into something productive?
Anyways… I’m feeling better than before. The short admission into the hospital did a world of good. Gave me a sorta calmness that I was lacking. Somehow, my body was under "fire" that I can’t explain. It’s not exactly "hot" but it’s like very… uneasy. Which is totally unexplainable since I JUST got to go on a holiday to a beautiful place call Sabah.
Of course, the drugs that they pumped into me had also given the effect of calm and serenity. It wasn’t sleeping pills or stress pills… it’s a procedure. I was suppose to undergo this procedure that took out all my immune system, drain it out if you must, and then I was to be put on this new immune system called - Immunoglobin. However, due to the fact that I had distorted veins, after 3 times trying to get that catheter in my thighs (some sort of dialysis procedure-like), they abandoned that idea and just gave me this 3 days course of Immunoglobin. Yup… I have some foreign immune to help kill my own immune system that’s going crazy.
That’s SLE for you.
So, at current position… I’m all running out of ideas and things to do at home. I came back last Friday with sleep. Lotsa of them. I’m trying not to dwell so much in them as they are very addictive. Who knows when I’ll actually start working again, and that’s when this sleep thing will be stuck in my mind. Sluggish brain of mine I have now.
I am however thinking of resolutions for 2008… and also recapping of what happened in 2007.
Blogging about it will be inevitable. I am an ardent blogger of wrapping up the year.. and welcoming the new year.
Sleep… i think i’ll do that now. Such a nice weather too.
