Me, MYSeLF & i…

I’m sitting here wandering what to do. I’ve been blogging all my life and all about my life that it has been made public and known to everyone who stumbles upon my blog. Privacy is no longer an option when you’re made known who you are. Nevertheless, I’m not complaining. It’s too late to turn back the time, and not that I want to even if I could.

Lets see… the last entry was about the two loooong drives back to the village to celebrate Hari Raya. That was one long, or make it two, days… It was Raya. Throughout the years, this will be how it will be as long as orang tua-tua still around. Going to the villagers to say hello and minta maaf for all the terkasar bahasa all this while.

Then, there was that whole Raya Beats that I won from FlyFm. Yes! I won at it… Does it really come as a surprise to you? I hope not…

You see, in order to win a contest, you HAVE to HAVE determination. It’s like work but also a bit of luck won’t hurt. What happened was that I had waited for the que to "sms" the radio station. The prize money had snowballed to RM600 for Non-Celcom and RM900 for Celcom users. The night before, I searched throughout the internet for the Raya songs from everywhere. Compiling them and bringing them to work, I listened to FLY. All the while, I was sms-ing before the que to sms. Pathetic? Well… I was determined to win the cash!

So… after about 50 sms BEFORE the que to sms… and about 20 more after que to sms… They had called! Interestingly enough, it was lagu Dendang Perantau by P. Ramlee. That day was also the day my boyfriend went to get those P. Ramlee musical tickets.

I won. RM900. Alhamdullillah. *winks*

Then… on Saturday, 20th October 2007, me and my Chenta Hati went to Istana Budaya to watch P. Ramlee the Musical.

Review of P. Ramlee Musical :-
This acclaimed musical, the show of the year, was starred by Sean Ghazi (P. Ramlee), Datuk Siti Nurhaliza (Azizah) - as guest star, Atilia (as Junaidah), Melissa Saila (Norizan), Liza Hanim (Saloma/Sally) and Infinates (Paparazzis) alongside with many others who made the musical an interesting and funny musical.

The Musical begins with Remy (P. Ramlee) in the living room with Sally, reminiscing P. Ramlee’s time. Such a sad beginning as KL was raining heavily.

Blast to the past, we see P. Ramlee as a kid, determined and had fallen in love with a girl whose parents were rich, name Azizah. He insisted that he could cipta lagu for Azizah.. and that’s when he got discovered to be a talent.

He left Azizah and went to Singapore untuk mengejar cita-cita. He started of small and had made it to be a director of many box office movies. Along the line, he married Junaidah, but in fact he was in love with Junainah (the younger sister). They divorced later when Junaidah could not handle his fame and women wooing.

He then married Norizan. Who had then took care of P. Ramlee until some rumours about her being disloyal came to knowledge. They divorced.

P. Ramlee finally met with Saloma. The meeting and their percintaan was so cute and funny that everyone in the theater was enjoying the moment. Laughter and smiles breaks out every few seconds.

Meanwhile, Singapore was no longer with Malaya (which had became Malaysia), and hence… P. Ramlee was sent off to KL.

That’s when they come back to the beginning.

The musical was superbly done. Me and my Chenta Hati was so impressed and happy to have gotten the chance to watch it. Thank you sayang.

Now we come to the last update :-

My Call to the BAR!
Nothing could describe how relieved I felt when the three main people plus the judge had said "no objections" and also " Dengan kuasa-kuasa…"

My parents and my Chenta Hati was there to hear my speech. So was Kabir. The rest of my friends were busy with their events… and I don’t blame them for not coming. Totally understand. Either way, I had the utmost happy feeling of being call-ed & Robe-ed by my Master.

I’m a lawyer now. Phew. That’s a relieve. What next? Oh yeah… my operation. Update on that LATER. Got to go to hospital. Visiting someone…

How’s everybody doing so far? Raya given you any joy yet? Well, I’m not trying to be a grinch… but, Raya has been one <s>hell</s> of drives to and fro for me; thankx to my parents who insists that they don’t need to stay in a resthouse/hotel somewhere.

You see, our journey to <b>JOHOR</b> began at about 3pm, on the first day of Syawal itself - 13th October 2007. Why did it take so long for us to actually make our move, well… there was the non packing and the visiting to my boyfriend’s house, which didn’t take that long of a time actually.

And since we arrived at about 6pm… not exactly at our destination yet… we made a stop to Tok Uda’s house. This former wakil rakyat had his annual open house and makan-makan. This is our FIRST time stopping there instead of going straight to Air Itam, Muar. The food… OMG… superb. It made the whole journey worthwhile. The THREE hours in the car, with relentless singing and not wanting to sleep was made worth it with the food!

Then, we made our move to Air Itam… which was another hour and a half. There was a different scenario altogether. We had mercun and bunga api… supplied by our own police officer. Haha… bahan rampasan.

The boys had a great time playing with the mercun and the kids played with all the bunga api there is. I took some photos… sampai kena perli that I was gathering evidence to prosecute. Haha.. I’m not the police officer ere… the one bringing the fireworks is.

I like the front yard of the kampung house in Air Hitam… it’s wide. There was where we had the Qurban of cow for Hari Raya Aidiladha… and it was certainly the minefield of fireworks that night too.

Ok… that whole fireworks, tho illegal, it was fun to watch and hear the reactions from everyone who was playing and closing their ears.

After all fireworks burned, most of us did what we do best… trying to bond. Imagine, my dad’s siblings is of 11 (which includes him) and each of them has at least 3 to 6 kids… which makes them ALL my cousins. We try to bond. Tho… I fail to bond that well, my sister had done well with the boys.

We left at about 11pm and reached home by 1am back home. Yes… the long journeys.

Hold it.. you think it stops there? We went to <b>Negeri Sembilan</b> the next day. Made our move by 12pm and reached close to 2.30pm. Visited about 3 houses and then kubur arwah nenek. We made our move back at about 4.30pm and reached Gombak (kubur atok) at about 6pm. Arrived home at about 7.30pm.

Phew… two long days of journeys in the car. All in all, I’ve spent about 6 hours on the first day and 3 hours on the second day = 9 HOURS!

See… i’m trying my best not to sound like a grinch here… but there’s so much a person can take with being a passenger of a 9 Hours long drive…

So… how was your Raya? Mine was tiring with the drives… but, I still love Raya nonetheless. The trying-to-bond session, the making serunding (ouh.. I made serunding this year!!) and the smiles in photos, makes the long hours worth it, I guess.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to post up some photos of the Raya trip… and catch my Zzzzz…

…kalau dah terlepas cakap,
there’s nothing you can do to make it right again. I’ve had it. After
much diliberating of what had happened, things are much clearer as to
seniority plays a much important role in the life that person.

as ahli fikir had rapped in their latest "2 X 5" song… "…jangan cakap lepas, biar pandai beralas. Ada ubi ada batas… ada hari kami balas!"

Don’t
think that my silence means I will not react towards what you have said
towards me and my family. I will remember that you had said "you, naik kepala" sentence… and also, "I see it as your parents bully you"… more often than not, they chose to take care of me because they know how serious my condition is.

You
have said words which you cannot take back, whereas I have kept my
silence. In my silence I will react… and you will see. I have taken a
position that even you will be surprised. You say I don’t know you…
you have not known to what extend I can do something. And if you think
I am scared with your drama talk… I am not.

Cakap lepas.
That’s what you did. And I am not ready to make nice… but I will
"act" nice. The upcoming three weeks I shall do what is required of me.
But after that… I will leave it to fate. If fate allows what is in my
head… I will do it as much.

You will not know what hit you.
Did you not notice that by hurting me, you loose money… now you have
to pay for some payment and some hurtful words were said to you… and
I am not surprised.

This will mark your demise. Once bitten,
twice shy… once shame on you, twice shame on me… I will do what I
wanted to do in the first instance.

Cakap lepas!
That’s something you shouldn’t have said… talk about
childish/unpro… hey, cermin diri tu. If you’re so overly qualified to
read people’s reaction… you yourself should not sit around and wait
for something to burst!

Ouhh… and that idiot boleh cakap to me, after my long talk with boss, "Sorry la Sarah… I cuma cakap pasal letter aje".
Kepala hangguk kau! If it’s only about the letter, why was he asking
about the file? I know what YOU are doing. You are trying to twist
everything back to my boss being wrong.

So… tell me this. If you are saying my boss is wrong, and my boss is saying that you are wrong… so siapa yang salah ni? Me??

Ok…
that’s the conclusion. I just hope the days past by as quickly as
possible. I nak get the hell away from this drama. Lagi teruk dari
office drama. Actually… this is a hindi movie conjoured by her.

Betul kata orang… jangan cakap lepas, biar pandai beralas… ada ubi ada batas, ada hari kami balas! Dan hari pembalasan itu akan tiba. Soon. Insya-Allah… soon

Yes. My house was broken into!! It was rather scary, come to think of it. No one was hurt. Many things were geledah… tapi… nothing else was actually taken. With the exception of my dvd recorder. Sigh. I’m going to miss that thing!

I’m traumatized. Truly I am.

I thank those who were there for me and my family… Nadia for remaining calm when kawan dia dah kalut. Shahril for coming back from work. Aunty Nora, Aunty Su and Aunty Non who had come over to talk to my mother about the break-in. Fary and P’ning for just being there. Fary for sharing her stories. My uncle for just being the person I need to be with right now.

Thank you all for giving me and my parents strength to succeed this cobaan. But if I was to ask what happened.. I’d probably go stone after that.

There’s nothing else I can say. This weekend had been long for me and my parents… and Nadia especially, because she saw her friend prancing in the house that memang nampak tunggang langgang!!

Ya Allah.. I am thankful nothing happened. Tapi, I am sooooooooooooooo traumatized.

Usually, there’s an excuse for my absence… but at present, there’s no excuse. It’s just me being lazy blogging. But here’s a quick update on what has happened so far in my life…

1. I’ve moved firm. Not because I change Pupil-Master… but it’s because my Pupil-Master has changed firm. He joined in to be a partner in one of those KL firms. Funny how things end up for me. I’ve ALWAYS wanted to work in KL. Yes… I don’t deny that it has been tiring. And the fact that there is NO internet connection in the room I’m working in, compels matter to be worst. Tapi, all in all… I have fun working in KL. It’s great to be able to spread out my wings.

2. I’m still with Shahril. Yes. That’s a thing that has not changed. But I thought that I MUST state that we are still together. We are having our problems… but I love that guy. Yes… my friends had been much help in those days I am desperately in need of an ear to hear my problems.

3. My chambering days are almost up. It’s so funny how it took so long for me to complete my chambering and now it’s almost ending. I’m practically a lawyer soon. I am aiming to be partner… sometime in my third year anywhere.

4. Yesterday was "discussion" day. Won’t divulge on it until things finalize.

5. I’m no longer on Tacrolimus… I’m now on Imuran. Sort of an immune stabilizer and not suppressor. Apparently my condition has gotten better since last year. Insya-Allah, when the time comes the doctors will take away my steroid intakes.

But I must say… updates from July to August are not plenty. Time moves by like air. So fast. There’s nothing that’s really interesting that had happened.

Tapikan, there was that incident last Saturday. And then… there was that GWEN Sweet Escape Tour! Yes… I went for that with my sister!! It was so awesome!!! It was held in Stadium Putra, Bukit Jalil on Tuesday, 21st August 2007 8.45pm.

I foresee that my days will soon be numbered. My Shahril is going to be busy with work these coming days. We got our communications in order. Mum is made aware. Dad too. Tapi, dad needs time to absorb the idea. Time will tell if things does happen.

I am happy. It feels like as though I first started to be with someone. It’s as tho when I first coupled with someone. I woke up having this non-believe feeling about the status I am in… and I feel happy.

Sigh. Soon.

Barangkali kisah ini
boleh menjadi renungan bagi kita, terutamanya yang ingin berumah tangga
:

Alkisah, seorang pemuda miskin bernama Jamil, berasal dari Benut,
Pontian. Keluarganya hanyalah keluarga sederhana,
Tidaklah disebut miskin.
Ayahnya sehari-hari bekerja sebagai tukang jahit di kampungnya. Karena
kegigihannya,
Jamil berjaya melanjutkan pelajaran
hingga ke UTM walaupun dengan perbelanjaan seadanya.

Semasa semester 3 di
kampus, Jamil jatuh hati pada seorang gadis bernama Sofea, juga sama-sama kuliah
di fakulti yang sama.
Sofea adalah putri seorang tokoh
korporat ternama di daerah Johor Bahru dan juga masih keturunan diraja. Walaupun
secara ekonomi,
mereka jauh berbeza,namun itu tidak
menghalang keduanya untuk saling mencintai. Ayah Sofea yang mengetahui putrinya
begitu
mencintai pemuda dari keturunan
biasa, tak mampu mencegah gelora cinta putrinya. Maka setelah keduanya lulus,
pernikahan keduanyapun
diselenggarakan dengan
meriah.

Pesta besar-besaran diadakan untuk mengiringi pernikahan. Ayah
Jamil yang tak punya banyak harta, hanya dapat memberikan bantuan

sumbangan pakaian, langsir,sarung
bantal, yang semuanya dibuat dan dijahit sendiri khas untuk pernikahan anaknya.
Bahagiakah Sofea
bersanding dengan Jamil
?

Ternyata kebahagiaan mereka tidak berlangsung lama. Tibalah saatnya
malam pengantin tiba. Mereka berduapun memasuki peraduan dengan

bahagia. Namun, ketika Jamil membuka
pakaiannya dan tinggal hanya memakai seluar dalam, berteriaklah Sofea dengan
kuat, sebelum akhirnya
pengsan tak sedarkan diri. Jamil
masih dalam kebingungan dan tidak tahu kenapa isterinya histeria dan pengsan.
Dilihatnya seluar dalam yang
dipakai. Aduh !!! Jamil
lupa yang seluar dalam itu  dijahit oleh ayahnya, dibuat dari kain bekas
bungkus tepung gandum. Di tengah seluar dalam
itu masih terpampang
jelas tulisan, "BERAT BERSIH 25 KG".

Sudah tentu Sofea terus pengsan
melihatnya. Sofea tidak dapat membayangkan seberapa besar isinya dengan berat
sebegitu.

Serius sangat
membacanya…

muhahahahah…ha… ha.
ha….!!

Semalam, I had breakfast with Ravin. It was nice of him to belanja me Nasi Lemak and Milo… will remember to treat him later on. It was even nicer that he waited through my arranging transport back with Shahril.

What was I doing having breakfast with Ravin? We bumped into each other in court (Jalan Duta). I had to clarify some Notis Rayuan thing for client and he was there for some other matter. I wasn’t in a hurry to be back because I know transport would be a jamm on my end. (Dad’s Volvo is in the workshop… minyak hitam tank bocor.)

Called Shahril and waited for him to get back to office. In the meantime, it was just nice to have company. Although, I must admit that I was talking half of the time. Ravin was making fun at my boyfriend-neighbour situation. He said that if my father misses me, my father can just ding-dong next door (once we’re married… though it’s the other way around la Ravin!)

He also suggested that the middle neighbour be given a vacation somewhere else whilst I use up the whole road for kenduri kahwin. Hehe.. it was refreshing to think about all that… but as much as I can (which is not long).

Later the day, there was "hope" that my new boss’ will be swinging by to the office and we might be having tea/dinner with the boss.

I got to present myself to these people. It wasn’t as easy. Don’t get me wrong… they are not scary but I can’t help thinking that they are. They are after all new people and I don’t know what is it they are thinking. All in all, I think I have a rough idea on how the firm is going to look like. Roughly, I can picture myself working there… but we’ll see how it all go in the next 3 months.

When I came back, with Fara’s mum (aunty Intan)… I got 2 rather disturbing news. One was on someone dear to my heart. It was sad to see what had happened. I thank GOD nothing else happened other than what had happened. I don’t know how in my life am I going to live if anything worst happened. Recovery is slow, but sure.

But this made me cry, though I may not have puffy eyes.

I thought… ingatkan nak take off today from work. But weighing the odds, I still went to work and seemed as though nothing had happened. That’s the best way to deal with this kot…

Another news is about my little brother… his handphone hilang. Kesian laa kat dia. He didn’t message me… he messaged my sister. They are closer in terms of telefon-menelefon ni. But, I’m sure in no time, my ex-auntie will buy him a new phone. My little brother ni very lucky… he has so much love from everyone eventho things might not seem whole as one.

Today… i am just thinking about yesterday. I’m sleepy in the office. I wanna go home. Serabut laa kepala…

bidak.

ehh.. bikin panas. suka kau la. aku tau kau takut image jatuh? takut ka cerita sebar ke tunang kau? Ya.. i know you are engaged.

Marah sama sia dgn itu blog? Mana?? eii.. bikin panas.

Hey JP… i think sabab sebenar kau marah sia bukan karna nama… jatuh kau punya ego kan? Macam X sia dulu-dulu. Now ging sama X tu… buleh layan je apa sia tulis… sama ada nama papar atau ndak.

Hambik la nama kau tu JP. Sia tak hingin… you are not welcome in the first place pun. Sori, tak sedar ka…?

In the office. Hungry. My fault.

Mom bekalkan some sandwich. But I don’t feel like sandwich. Drama over sandwich. Tapi, I have to finish the sandwich. Or not I feel my mum’s effort of making the sandwich goes to waste.

That’s relationship for you. You think bout what your actions might occur reaction to the other person. You think about what you do might effect the other’s feeling. What you say… what you don’t do.

It’s never easy. In any relationship, it’s never easy. There’s always one person who doesn’t do exactly as expected out of the other. In this case, it’s me. I am always somehow result to forcing myself to strive and get things done (or eaten) without confronting the issue.

Issue is simple… I don’t want sandwiches! Well, not tuna or sardine. I’m actually sick of sandwiches. Manis2 sandwiches I like… but that’s not lunch to my mum (and most people too…)

Result.. I am having hunger pangs. Which brings me to this ridiculous blogging which was brought to all of you people’s attention.

Sandwiches-relationship-hunger pangs. Ouh.. and alone in office at 2.30pm.

I think I’ll sleep for awhile. Enough of merepeks…